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patch

a socially inept retarted sex pest who generally stumbles through life like a drunken wizard who has no magical powers and by definition only has one eye.

the majority of patches also known as brettz tend to display an odd fettish for the sexual act of leg kissing.

A patch will often be oblivious to rejection from any female companion and regardless of being an ugly one eyed muppet and will still mistakenly believe they are a real catch, when in reality most homo sapiens would rather catch ebola than a patch.

a Bretts natural habitat tends to be a smallwood suttonhill.
brett: i swear babe she was kissing and cuddling me she had white french knickers on ask aled
Leanne: shut up u liar you are talking mumbo jumbo, stop being sucha PATCH.
brett: ok sorry i must be mistaken maybe i blinked my one eye and got the wrong end of the stick
by Rusty Hill October 21, 2015
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rainbow patch

When you eat a girl out when she's on her period and your mouth holds a red stain
Last night after I ate Ashley out I checked in the mirror and I had a rainbow patch! Now I can't get this nasty bitch blood out my mouth
by Eat her out, bloody, Justice December 21, 2015
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Patch

To patch someone means to ignore them or leave them out. To be patched means to be ignored or left out
"Freya keeps texting me loads of bullshit"
"Just patch her"
by Br1tishs7ang July 23, 2017
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Zebra patch

When you cum in your hand and slap a black chick across the face.
by Slapahpe5times August 12, 2017
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Patches the plush

Patches the plush is a made up character by a user on a site. It is a mix of plush and human, and has a gender defined as male. He has a long backstory, but in general has several patches and stitches. Colton Calloway is his real name, but prefers being called Patches. Contains Child Like innocence, sensitive and mostly cheery+happy. They're allergic to cinnamon, and deserve more love
Patches the plush kept coughing and wheezing due to being exposed to cinnamon
by GlitchedButterz1987 August 17, 2017
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Patch of turbulence

I was swiping right one after another on tinder and then came across a patch of turbulence when the next 8 were ugly as hell itself.
by DaRealDuby October 30, 2018
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Patch it

Where a slag wants you to go away
I’ve got no bra on so patch it
by Poppy Ellison August 9, 2018
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