mad cactus

A hairy shaft

Damn, I went home with him last night, but his dick had so much hair...it was a mad cactus!

by poopyheadmeanyface November 3, 2011

Man Cactus

Used to describe the condition of male genitals created by prickly regrowth of shaved pubic hair. Does not occur if one has a manzilian as the regrowth is much softer

Diner: "Stop scratching your crotch at the table you disgusting creature!"
Waiter: "Im terribly sorry sir, but I haven't shaved my crotch and nutsack in four days and have developed a horry case of man cactus."
Diner: "Perhaps you should consider a manzilian".

Ho: Go and shave your junk, you ain't putting that nasty man cactus near my delicate ladybits.

by Steamtronic January 30, 2014

prickley cactus

When you glue tooth picks on your dick and stick it up your girlfriends butt until she sees the devil

I performed the Prickley cactus on the bae and she be thirst

by Jay dizzle February 1, 2015

dehydrated cactus

When you haven't gotten laid in a long ass time because you're a prick.

Look over there that dudebro is a dehydrated cactus.

by DickSlaya69 March 4, 2016

pokey cactus

The act of a man covering his penis in glue, getting sand all over it, and having anal sex with his partner.

Since we're on the beach with a bottle of glue, how about I give you a pokey cactus?

by Bshshdbs March 10, 2016

cheese cactus

A spiky/leafy bud of cannabis

That cheese cactus off that dealer way shy

by Cheese cactus April 21, 2016

Dusty Cactus

Any hole or object used to have intercourse (or masturbate with) that is very dry. Feels as though your penis is being harassed by a cactus. Often leads to chaffing and inevitable pain with possible blood loss.

That was one hell of a night, but her asshole is a dusty cactus.

She said to stick it in, so I did. We didn't have any lube for that Dusty Cactus. Owey

My cock is so raw that it's bleeding. Damn Dusty Cactus. I'm never doing anal again.

by ObviousDailyLingo May 8, 2016