phantom jerk

The act of masturbating an invisible penis with your hand in an effort to either piss people off or make them laugh depending on the situation.

This drunk asshole started shit with this waiter at Denny's the other night and when his friends started dragging him out he kept yelling at the poor guy. My friend Dan thought he was a dick like me so he started doing the phantom jerk. His girlfriend thought it was hilarious but he got pissed at us. When the asshole asked what our problem was Dan just did a toothy grin and said "problem?"

by Bassnium.exe October 29, 2011

Phantom Fuck

Referring to post-coitus reverberation or throbbing of the vaginal walls. Causing arousal without physical touch.

*after sex*
Wow, it’s like you’re phantom fucking me!

by Lola & Bandit April 10, 2019

phantom bum

phantom bumming is when you take a picture of a friend stood right behind someone else who is bending over although the person who is bending over shouldn't be aware of this occuring when you look at he picture it should look like your friend is making love to their bottoms.

i got an imense phantom bum at the co-op.
i dare you to phantom bum that old lady.
i hope i didn't just get phantom bummed when i picked that up.
i bet i can phantom bum your mum.

by rkidfromden January 28, 2010

Phantom Vibration

When you think you feel your phone vibrate, but its just your imagination.

"Hey i think ur phone just vibrated"

*checks phone* "Naw, just a Phantom Vibration"

by CookiesAreNummy February 10, 2012

Phantom Beard Syndrome

Similar to phantom limb syndrome, Phantom Beard Syndrome (PBS) occurs when a man has had facial hair for an extended period of time and then for whatever reason decides to shave it. He is likely to still think the facial hair is there, feel it, or even attempt to stroke it even though it is gone.

I shaved off my goatee before joining the army 4 years ago and I can still feel it today. I thing I have Phantom Beard Syndrome.

by Renegade1835 August 29, 2010

Phantom Text Syndrome

Phantom Text Syndrome, or PTS, is an acute neurological phenomenon characterized by thinking you have received a text from someone (i.e. by vibration or sound indicator) when actually nothing has occurred. Recently coined by world-renowned Psychologist Gustav Kuznetsova, PTS is now accepted by the American Psychological Association.

Guy 1: (Abruptly reaches into his pocket)

Guy 2: "Got a text, dude?"

Guy 1: "Yeah, let me just…"(Pulls phone out to see a blank screen) "Oh, wait.
Forget it. Guess I was wrong."

Guy 3: "Phantom Text Syndrome!!!"

Guy 2: "Yo, I think they got meds for that shit now."

by Chargeitup09 March 8, 2009

Phantom Ball Pain

When a guys ball(s) randomly and suddenly begins to be severely painful for absolutely no reason. Soon after, this pain will just as suddenly dissapear as it had appeared in the first place, leaving the guy wondering "What the hell caused that??"

"I was sitting at my desk working when BAM!!, Phantom Ball Pain. I could barely move for like 5 minutes!"

by Mike Flemming September 22, 2005