Guard Hand

When a girl has her hand hover over a guy's hand to guard against where it goes.

After the 7th date when she finally touched my bird, I thought the law of reciprocity meant I could finger her snatch, but her guard hand blocked my attempt.

by Zee Assman January 24, 2005

penis hand

when one touches their penis and scrotum with their hand and then wipes it on another's face

Brown Starr just gave Betsy penis hand.

by Walter Jenkins March 2, 2010

halo hands

A series of unsightly abrasions to the hands and wrists as a result of frequent contact with a hard surface such as a wall or floor. Commonly found in people with short tempers or Halo 3.

Bob: "Dammit dude I died again!!" (smashes ground)

Jimmy: "You should really learn to control your temper: your hand's lookin pretty bad"

Bob: "Yup, the doc says I got halo hands and theres no known cure... Now shut the fuck up and let me play!" (dies again)

Bob: (Towards tv monitor) "You fucking faggot, I was arguing with this deuche sitting next to me!!!"(pounds tv monitor)CRUNCH!!!!....

Bob: Oh fuck, I broke the tv. I've really gotta get some help for this."

by MR. AWESOME!!! March 17, 2008

short hand

a meaningless promise of support

this isn't a short hand surprise

by dbo35 January 17, 2009

shit handed

The result of seated ass wiping, especially when combined with a crumpling paper strategy, as opposed to the equally popular fold, wipe and release or civilised method. Wiping done seated with a tilt and using the crumple method is dangerous, unsteady and frowned upon. Thus, it often results in shit residue reaching the hand, fingers, or cuff.

My loud ass boss came into the bathroom to piss and moan, so i hunkered and opted for the seated wipe and crumpling of paper so as not to draw his attention. While leaning to my left i momentarily lost my balance and bearings and inadvertently shit handed myself. I was not pleased, as i had recently eaten corn.

by mstephenfeeley December 26, 2007

4 Hand

A massage by two girls (or guys).

Tina and Molly gave me a great 4 hand.

by fbpz1144 December 30, 2011

Dry Handed

When someone comes out of the bathroom and sees you for the first time of the night, feels the need to be polite and shakes your hand. The problem is it's completey dry. It should still be slightly wet from the washing process. You just got dry handed!

It was a tough night at work. I hung out too close to the the restroom and got dry handed three times. Thank God I brought my Purell.

by Orange Mullet January 13, 2007