carpenter's dream

Flat as board and easy to nail!
First coined in 1903 by H. Cleveland Lowenbrau to describe the Baronesse of Eastern Slovovia

Your mom's lack of mamaries and promiscuity lend her to being dubbed a "carpenter's dream"

by Pubert Qubert Quakenbush April 3, 2003

carpenter's dream

A flat woman. Compare to pirate's dream. From an unwarped board.

Paula is a carpenter's dream!

by Bumkicker Slade May 14, 2005

Carpenter

A carpenter is a legit, badass, problem solving, beer drinking, tang slaying, beast of a man!

Mary: man my dude is a pussy!
Mary’s friend: bitch you shoulda got you a carpenter! My man is the shit. Fixes everything and smashes like a beast!
Mary: well gotta Ditch this electrician!

by Bwahaha26 June 12, 2018

Rudy Carpenter

Worst collegiate quarterback of all time. Spent 4 years at ASU, turning a promising team with national title aspirations into a doormat that could not even beat the UA. Prone to blowing big games, throwing multiple interceptions, fumbling profusely, blaming others for his mistakes, and generally being a complete waste of a quarterback. Often found crying after a loss.

"Throw the ball Rudy, the receiver's open! Oh goddammit Rudy Carpenter why did you throw another interception?"

by eljefe81 June 21, 2009

Carpenter's dream

A girl who's as flat as a board and has a wooden personality, but she's easy to nail.

I can't find a date for Saturday night, so I'll just ask out my neighbor - she's a carpenter's dream.

by rasta21 July 17, 2013

Hollie Carpenter

Colloquial slang for a whore. Similar to a slag, but only greater on the prostitutional scale.

I Hollie Carpenter'd some girl last night!

Too bad she resembled a disfigured axe-wound.

by Mystery Tab December 10, 2009

Carpenterrhea

A psychological disorder in which a person believes they are a carpenter, however everything they build would be considered an abysmal failure by any respectable carpentry association.

Guy 1: That has to be the worst lamp stand I have ever seen.
Guy 2: NNNNnnnooooooooooooo!
......
Guy 1: Tell it to me straight, Doc, what's he got?
Doc: Carpenterrhea!

by Fls'Zen December 15, 2011