The excessive baggage that is gradually acquired over time by a housewife. They start off pretty, but slowly turn into fat cows who do nothing all day but sit around and eat things covered in chocolate and creamy shit.
Housewife weight results from a belief that, since the woman already has a husband who will pay for all the stupid, pointless shit she wants, she has a right to stop exercising and eating right, because she thinks that he will not leave her. If the man is smart, he will drop her tubby ass like a bad habit and find a girl half his age.
Housewife weight results from a belief that, since the woman already has a husband who will pay for all the stupid, pointless shit she wants, she has a right to stop exercising and eating right, because she thinks that he will not leave her. If the man is smart, he will drop her tubby ass like a bad habit and find a girl half his age.
Once upon a time, John married a hot young intelligent woman named Jane. Jane began gaining housewife weight, and slowly morphed from a 9 into a -2, and became indestinguishable from a common farm hog.
by Daniel Jakubek November 29, 2006
Get the housewife weight mug.A stay at home mom who can't cook, clean nor supervise her 5+ children. Her husband eventually gives up and walks, but not without paying her child support. She makes new friends who in turn take advantage of her and her money. She and her girlfriends smoke like a coal plant. She eats take-out or orders delivery. The entire house is a disgusting mess. There are cigarette burns in the carpet, many many old food containers, old moldy dirty dishes piling in the sink, stains on the wall and the smell of stale nicotine permeates the air. The kids are unwashed. Their clothing are hand-me-downs of various out-dated styles. She's on anti-depressants and whole other cocktail of meds. She writes many letters to Oprah asking for help and money, which all go unanswered.
Building Inspector: What the fuck happened to this house!!!!!??? It's such a pig sty.
Landlord: Canadian Housewife.
Building Inspector: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!
Landlord: Thanks a lot now I'll have to clean that up too.
Landlord: Canadian Housewife.
Building Inspector: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!
Landlord: Thanks a lot now I'll have to clean that up too.
by Nonchalant Ego March 25, 2010
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A phenomenon of a show.
It revolves around a group of female housewives.
Susan, being one of them, is a divorced single mother who is in love with her plumber. Susan later finds out the plumber is a murderer, but accepts that he did it in self-defense.
Lynette, being the most boring character in the show, is a housewive with 3 or 4 kids that she can't control.
Bree is another housewive. She and her husband are fighting lots and stuff, but they get over it, but then her husband dies. Boohoo.
Gabriel Solis, who is without a doubt one of the most sexiest womanses I've ever seen, is an adulterinator. She cheats on her husband with her gardener, and may have gotten pregnant from him.
Edie Britt is probably the ugliest of the group, next to Bree, but is all pop-uh-ler because she's got large fake breasts. Oh, and she's the whore of the town.
These are only some of the characters from this awesome show, which gets better with each coming episode.
Hell, I'm 12 and I love it.
It revolves around a group of female housewives.
Susan, being one of them, is a divorced single mother who is in love with her plumber. Susan later finds out the plumber is a murderer, but accepts that he did it in self-defense.
Lynette, being the most boring character in the show, is a housewive with 3 or 4 kids that she can't control.
Bree is another housewive. She and her husband are fighting lots and stuff, but they get over it, but then her husband dies. Boohoo.
Gabriel Solis, who is without a doubt one of the most sexiest womanses I've ever seen, is an adulterinator. She cheats on her husband with her gardener, and may have gotten pregnant from him.
Edie Britt is probably the ugliest of the group, next to Bree, but is all pop-uh-ler because she's got large fake breasts. Oh, and she's the whore of the town.
These are only some of the characters from this awesome show, which gets better with each coming episode.
Hell, I'm 12 and I love it.
by Tookar May 29, 2005
Get the desperate housewives mug.verb - the act of married women having affairs with teenage boys. As seen in the popular television show on ABC, Desperate Housewives. Such as the relationship between Gabrielle Solis and her Gardener, John Rowland.
"Dude, your mom so wants to Desperate Housewives me. She grabbed my hand, gave me a hug, and everything. It's just too bad she's not a MILF."
by SurferBoy June 28, 2005
Get the Desperate Housewives mug.BEST SHOW EVER CREATED IN THE HISTORY OF ALL SHOWS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DH defies any other despcription.
DH defies any other despcription.
"Desperate Housewives is the BEST SHOW EVER CREATED IN THE HISTORY OF ALL SHOWS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
by half of the foursome May 23, 2007
Get the desperate housewives mug.Despite possessing testicles (allegedly), the Housebitch takes on the traditional role of the submissive housewife. Any and all decisions must first be approved by the wife and her say is dutifully accepted. The only alcohol allowed in the house is white wine. Cursing is forbidden. Male friendships are strictly frowned upon. The Housebitch goes to great lengths to disguise his true identity including coming up with off-the-wall excuses in order to explain to his male friends why he will not be attending events to which he previously guaranteed his presence. It gives the Housebitch's wife great joy to cancel plans the Housebitch made with his buddies.
As the Housebitch, Ian knows better than to even bring up the topic of a boys’ weekend trip. Instead, he has a catalog of excuses from which to pull from as soon as friends suggest any kind of getaway. This makes Ally happy, which in turn, makes Ian happy. With another weekend apart averted, Ian and Ally toast their wine glasses before cuddling up on the couch to watch this weeks episode of The Bachelor follow up with American Idol.
by Rebell May 1, 2008
Get the Housebitch mug.a person. me. but it can also be used to refer to a chick that can cook like nobody's buisness and likes or has thought about pursuing the pussy.
most housewife vagina's have had bad experiences with men, therefore attracted to angelina jolie types and cook to relieve stress.
housewife vagina's also make great loving mothers but are a bit unconventional about it.
i coined that shit though.
because its me nigga.
most housewife vagina's have had bad experiences with men, therefore attracted to angelina jolie types and cook to relieve stress.
housewife vagina's also make great loving mothers but are a bit unconventional about it.
i coined that shit though.
because its me nigga.
"why do they call you housewife vagina?"
"because i can make bomb ass brownies."
"what about the vagina part?"
"hey man don't go askin questions just cuz i don't eat the meat."
"so why do you want your baby to have a blue mohawk? and why would you want to paint the white picket fence black?"
"because i'm housewife vagina niggabitch."
"because i can make bomb ass brownies."
"what about the vagina part?"
"hey man don't go askin questions just cuz i don't eat the meat."
"so why do you want your baby to have a blue mohawk? and why would you want to paint the white picket fence black?"
"because i'm housewife vagina niggabitch."
by Housewife Vagina February 6, 2010
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