by deadlydan1991 January 5, 2015
Get the wedgy wank mug.The act of extreme masturbation. You must "knock one out" whilst in close proximity to any of the following; Your mum, a nun, your boss, a member of parliament, George Michael. A person with capabilities to act upon catching you mid self-abuse obvisouly ups the ante. Ejaculation must be reached before your danger wank target comes (no pun intended) to investigate. The higher the chances of being discovered with one's pants down, pulling one's war face is obviously where the danger comes from. The more danger involved the harder (or softer) it is to complete the task in hand (snigger). The more dangerous the better. The chance of being arrested, pummeled by an angry father or having your hand severed by an arab's sabre means that you are a pro "Danger wanker."
"I was in my bedroom and i shouted downstairs, "Mum there's call the police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces!" As soon as I heard her scream, I dropped my trousers and commenced the danger wank. As I heard her stomp up the stairs I knew i had to be quick so i upped the pace, i heard her stumble on the top step, which bought me some time. Unfortunately for me I timed my finish badly. As my mum barged through the door armed with a rollign pin I chugged all over her. I spent the evening in A&E with concusion. Now thats what i call extreme DW"
by johnnynika July 30, 2008
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after masturbating, the feeling you get when you look at yourself, alone, sweaty and half naked in your room.
person 1: geez troy, last night i got the post-wank depression hard.
person 2: well cuthbert, time to find yourself a partner.
person 2: well cuthbert, time to find yourself a partner.
by pooooose June 24, 2010
Get the Post-wank Depression mug.Limey for American Football.
Super Bowl? Does that have something to do with the Yanks and their game of Armoured Wank Ball? - Ulkesh, fark.com
by Kamakazibuttsecks February 2, 2006
Get the Armoured Wank Ball mug.A phrase popularized by the comedian Jim Jefferies,
Masturbating after consuming about 1+ grams of coke. By the fifth hour, when you actually have an orgasm you are so dehydrated that it's more like gelatin pellets spitting onto your chest, instead of semen.
Masturbating after consuming about 1+ grams of coke. By the fifth hour, when you actually have an orgasm you are so dehydrated that it's more like gelatin pellets spitting onto your chest, instead of semen.
"At this point I was really just looking forward to my Coke Wank, and the fat bitch wouldn't leave my hotel" - Jim Jefferies
by ICallThisTheDoubleBarrel June 6, 2014
Get the Coke Wank mug.A failed attempt at a tit wank when the girls breasts are too small for proper wanking of the penis.
I was so pissed off that I couldn't get a proper tit wank off that girl. She had such under developed tits..She tried but it was a blatant Rib wank....I left feeling unfulfilled
by Girthy_Z November 8, 2010
Get the Rib Wank mug.When someone tells a joke or anecdote but finds that they have only succeeded in making themselves laugh, a lot.
Grant was telling a story about how 'funny' something was the other day. He laughed throughout and when he had finished speaking, he only heard his own laughter. Grant had done a joke wank.
by samgoosejones November 24, 2013
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