Spank the monkey

An American state sport, in other words, jacking off. Numerous other ways of saying this include Beating the meat, playing the devil’s fiddle (for you Christian white guys).

Viktor: Dude, you gotta come see this photo of Mia Khalifa!
James: Gimme a sec, I’m gonna go spank the monkey...

by Goddamnit James February 7, 2018

monkey spank

A phrase that means sperm, male reproductive cells, jizz.

I hate having monkey spank all over my keyboard after I watch porn.

by mfmc April 6, 2010

to spank the monkey

to masturbate... to do the the dirty deed, in a few words to deal with your sexual needs by yourself

Guy 1: How did it go last night?
Guy 2: Not so good, so I had to spank the monkey!

by Monkey Business March 18, 2011

spank the monkey

Spank the Monkey is the greatest internet game ever!

Lets play spank the monkey!

by Ryan Ramsey December 18, 2006

monkey spank

A total jack-off idiot

jeff's doin the monkey spank in the bathroom

by cupcarz June 25, 2005

spank the monkey

in houston many will say that it means anal sex, in kansas it means masturbation, mainly when guys masturbate not women but I hear in some places it doesn't matter if your male or female

I wanna spank her monkey
I wanna spank the monkey
he is spanking his monkey
she is spanking her monkey

by houstongirl September 19, 2009

monkey spank

A derogatory remark, usually directed toward a male.

"Greg is such a monkey spank."

by x January 22, 2003