If you had to display Schrödinger's emoticon it would be in a box to remain unobserved -> ⬜
If you were to look at it, it would have a determined, singular state.
If you were to look at it, it would have a determined, singular state.
by ZUUL42 October 9, 2014
Get the Schrödinger's emoticon mug.A variant on the famous "Schrodinger's Cat" thought exercise, which questions the living or dead status of a cat locked in a box with a randomly-released toxic gas.
In a Schrodinger's Crap situation, a form of uncertainty principle is applied to certain types of bowel movements which defy pre-emergence classification. It is impossible to accurately predict their state until after it has emerged, by which point it is too late.
Parameters:
1. Something in your rectum is trying to get out.
2. It will be a solid, or a liquid, or a gas. And no other. (No plasmas, etc.)
3. If its final state is gaseous, you can liberate it with minimal concern.
4. If it is either liquid or solid, it will require further steps for successful disposal.
The paradox lies in the fact that the exact state of a Schrodinger's Crap cannot be accurately deduced before opening the system to observation. But opening the system to observation is fatal to the system's continued existence, as the toxic gas is already released. Followed to its logical extreme, the Schrodinger's Crap theory posits that the contents of the system are ALL OF: a solid, a liquid, and a gas - simultaneously.
(Note: the word "uncertainty" also has the word "taint" in it. Coincidence? I think not.)
In a Schrodinger's Crap situation, a form of uncertainty principle is applied to certain types of bowel movements which defy pre-emergence classification. It is impossible to accurately predict their state until after it has emerged, by which point it is too late.
Parameters:
1. Something in your rectum is trying to get out.
2. It will be a solid, or a liquid, or a gas. And no other. (No plasmas, etc.)
3. If its final state is gaseous, you can liberate it with minimal concern.
4. If it is either liquid or solid, it will require further steps for successful disposal.
The paradox lies in the fact that the exact state of a Schrodinger's Crap cannot be accurately deduced before opening the system to observation. But opening the system to observation is fatal to the system's continued existence, as the toxic gas is already released. Followed to its logical extreme, the Schrodinger's Crap theory posits that the contents of the system are ALL OF: a solid, a liquid, and a gas - simultaneously.
(Note: the word "uncertainty" also has the word "taint" in it. Coincidence? I think not.)
HMB: Dude, you're walking funny.
HDT: I can't help it. I feel like I wanna fart, or maybe take a dump. But I can't figure out if I'm going to "gamble and lose". I feel like I'm touching cloth.
APLR: Wait, I have an answer. Your digestive system is entirely described by a single state function, "psi". For every observable, "A", there is a corresponding Hermitian Operator, "A^". The result of measuring "A" must be an eigenvalue of "A^". If such an operator has eigenvalue "a" and corresponding eigenstate "phi", then the probability of measuring "a" is the positive value of ("phi"|"psi") all squared. If the result of a measurement of "A" is "a", then the state of the system changes to the eigenstate "phi". Between measurements, "psi" evolves according to the Time-Dependent Schrodinger Equation.
HMB: ...
HDT: ...
APLR: What this means in layman's terms is that the state of your bowel movement cannot be independently observed without opening the system and releasing toxic gases. You have a Schrodinger's Crap situation.
HDT: ... and now I am touching socks.
HDT: I can't help it. I feel like I wanna fart, or maybe take a dump. But I can't figure out if I'm going to "gamble and lose". I feel like I'm touching cloth.
APLR: Wait, I have an answer. Your digestive system is entirely described by a single state function, "psi". For every observable, "A", there is a corresponding Hermitian Operator, "A^". The result of measuring "A" must be an eigenvalue of "A^". If such an operator has eigenvalue "a" and corresponding eigenstate "phi", then the probability of measuring "a" is the positive value of ("phi"|"psi") all squared. If the result of a measurement of "A" is "a", then the state of the system changes to the eigenstate "phi". Between measurements, "psi" evolves according to the Time-Dependent Schrodinger Equation.
HMB: ...
HDT: ...
APLR: What this means in layman's terms is that the state of your bowel movement cannot be independently observed without opening the system and releasing toxic gases. You have a Schrodinger's Crap situation.
HDT: ... and now I am touching socks.
by HMB September 13, 2009
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A hypothetical cat that is simultaneously dead and alive because we don't know whether the nuclear particle has decayed or not, releasing the trigger that kills the cat. Used as an example that quantum mechanics is completely absurd when we look at it from a mundane perspective.
by inquilinekea July 3, 2005
Get the Schrodinger's Cat mug.A cat which is neither alive nor dead, but rather in a state of stasis, in a box. There is also in the box a geiger counter and a tiny radioactive particle, the counter wired to a vial of hydrochloric acid (that got your attention). After a set amount of time, the particle is 50% likely to decay, setting off a mechanism triggered by the geiger counter which smashes the vial and kills the cat. Supposedly, after that set amount of time, if no one looks in the box, the whole system is in a state of stasis because the cat is 50% likely to be alive and 505 likely to be dead, and is thus neither alive nor dead, but both. At least, until someone opens rhe box. There are all sorts of conundrums associated with this thesis, and it is very controversial.
by Braavosi May 16, 2003
Get the Schroedinger's Cat mug.Katie missed her connecting flight because her inbound flight was late, she was well and truly schroedered.
by John Lee Pettimore May 17, 2017
Get the schroedered mug.When a woman takes two pregnancy tests with one coming up positive and the other negative. Until the woman can visit the doctor, she's both pregnant and not pregnant at the same time creating the comparison with Schrodinger’s Cat.
Kirsty: Great, two pregnancy tests with different results. I have Schrodinger’s Pregnancy here, baby and no baby at the same time.
by WatcherMark May 23, 2019
Get the Schrodinger’s Pregnancy mug.When I bit into the burrito it was scalding hot, but when I finished the burrito it was still frozen. This happens every time no matter what side you bite into with Schrödinger's burrito.
by Master Chank April 14, 2020
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