Jared

The new boyfriend. He's the one who took you away from me. He has a great jawline, nice shoulders, and muscles. He's in your bed while I'm in your Twitch chat. He's just a doormat.

Yeah I've met Jared. Of course I've met Jared.

by dreamnotfoundwastaken June 22, 2022

Jared Padalecki

A species of moose.

Girl 1: Did you see that massive moose run by?

Girl 2: Oh, that was just Jared Padalecki...

by corksoakerr March 11, 2011

No jareds

A general term used to describe someone who blatantly lies when in an argument and demands proof that they performed a specific deed.

A: No, you are incorrect, I clearly saw you throw that at me.

B: Do you have any proof? No. Thank you.

A: No jareds!

by Steve Plasn April 5, 2009

jaredish

An adjective, meaning 'cold, distant, indifferent'. So named due to the attitude popular idol Jared Fogle displays when not on camera.
Can also mean sexually promiscuous.

Mark: My girlfriend's totes acting jaredish around me.
Shaquille: Slap that ho.

John: Can't believe how jaredish you're acting, Kate.
Kate: What I do with my body is my choice, Dad!

by Quarr November 29, 2010

Jared Monaco

The Maine's sick guitar player, that can learn basically any song you give him. Known as the band's personal ginger and describes himself as "red." Loves Sour Patch kids and makes peanut butter and Jelly Sandwiches with a spoon.

Did you see the red head on stage tonight?

Yeah that's the guitar player Jared Monaco!

by Shandeoconnor March 18, 2010

Jared Robison

A person that is truly the bomb diggity that deserves all the minidabs #yeet

Jared Robison is literally one of the most talented people I know.

by Kidney bones May 28, 2018

Jared

Jared. Well, Jared. Personally, i think he's cute. I'm sure he would make a great partner. I imagine his love to be hard, like, soft in his heart but hard in his head. His head sometimes stands in his way. Don't get me wrong, a head is very useful at times, very important. But sometimes it ruins the mood, doesnt it.

Jared needs to be affirmed that he is the one you're looking out for. Otherwise he will send a drone to your balcony checking on you. Believe me, He will! 🖤

Jared, you smumph, come here you sillix! Give us a hug.

by Krkič June 4, 2019