Florida
Florida by Homer J. Simpson October 2, 2003
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Florida
Oh god, my current home state. If you live there, either a small town in the south, or Melbourne and surrounding towns is the only decent plae where you won't be called a hick. I have to do to the rest of this wasteland for some cheerleading compititions, and I feel like I'll get shot. Trailer parks dominate most of the state, and the other half is the coast line full of condos, which are full of old people. If your not poor then you probably live in a private community (i.e. maybe a gate, definatly deffrently labeled neighborhoods) and go to one of the 485639670 different schools that you could be zoned for, even if someone living closer to it than you is going to a different one. Because just about every single child abduction yu see in the news is from Florida, the cops get every 13-year-old girl grounded because they decide them walking home at 6pm is dangerous, and they need a ride home. (I should know it happened twice in the last two weeks.) If you drive here, you've been pulled over at least once a month for no apparent reason for at least the last year. Every kid gets sprayed with the "RECLAIMED WATER" (shit water sprinklers) going to the bus stop. About 80% of every one ages 10-50 smokes daily, and not legally either. What do we do for fun? Wandering around aimlessly in outdoor malls at 10pm or getting drunk off your ass every night is pretty much all there is to do. Emo kids and "skaters" run the town. Pretty much everyone's parents are divorced, half the kids live with their grandparents, and the other half live in the shitty army housing. Everyone steals makeup from target, and the rich kids wear abercrombie and drink starbucks. You probably know people that shoplift as a hobby. Just call the kids white trash and wish you didn't live here. Fat sunburned tourist ruin the summer, but where the hell are you supposed to go?
NOBODY FROM FLORIDA, LIKES FLORIDA.
NOBODY FROM FLORIDA, LIKES FLORIDA.
East Coast Kid= "OMG SO HOW MUCH FUN WAS IT LIVING IN FLORIDA!?
Florida Kid= "It was full of burnouts and single parents, why?"
East Coast Kid= "What? Didn't you go to Disney every day?!"
Florida Kid= "You would think. No, I had to spend my time pretending to be interested in the bag of weed my 'friend' bought from his father."
East Coast Kid= "Ew..."
Florida Kid= "Tell me about it."
Florida Kid= "It was full of burnouts and single parents, why?"
East Coast Kid= "What? Didn't you go to Disney every day?!"
Florida Kid= "You would think. No, I had to spend my time pretending to be interested in the bag of weed my 'friend' bought from his father."
East Coast Kid= "Ew..."
Florida Kid= "Tell me about it."
Florida
Florida
One of the worst possible places to live in the world. There is not much to do. You can't really go outdoors because its so hot and sunny that if you step outside for ten minutes you get a heat stroke. it sucks to go to the beach during the day because the sun burns like frekin hell. There are no mountains or anything nice. And yet all the retards from up north crowd it like crazy.
florida