"firehose" remark-reaction

Refers to the involuntary "geyser" of liquid/slurry that one produces when something funny/shocking is spoken in his presence while he's eating/drinking something, said utterance causes an "automatic" or "uncontrollable-on-short-notice" lung- expulsion from a laugh or cough, which in turn causes a forceful ejection of the mouth's contents which shoots out for several feet and disgustingly messes up anything (or anyONE) in its path.

A classic example of a "firehose" remark-reaction is when Jimmy Culp does an astonished "sploooot!" when he hears his name mentioned by Robert Stack on the Tonight Show immediately after taking a deep swig of beer.

by QuacksO February 21, 2019

Wrestling with the firehose

When a man has to pee very badly and in the process of pulling out his dick when he finally gets to the bathroom he begins to piss wildly before he has his grip or his stance ready.

"Whoa, is it raining out there?"

"I wish. I was just wrestling with the firehose after all that Gatorade I drank this morning...I don't have any extra pants."

by koreatown May 2, 2019

rusty firehose

Describes a person with uncontrollable, watery diarrhea, or the act itself. Anyone so privileged as to view the output would note that it resembles nothing so much as the expulsion of a rusty firehose.

I stayed home from work because of the stomach flu and had a garbage plate for lunch. I spent the next three hours on the throne doing my impression of a rusty firehose.

by wellwhoopdedooo February 10, 2009

doggy firehose

when u stick it in the wrong hole then she pees on u and u pee on her

i stuck it in the wrong one and we doggy firehosed

by qwesxdfcvghesxcfhg March 8, 2019

FireHosing

When a man sticks his dick down a womens throat and pisses in her while deep throating her

Man, I gave her a narly firehose last night. She loves firehosing

by SGTWG January 13, 2020

Transylvanian Firehose

A sexual maneuver in which a man lops off the head of his own penis and sprays one or more other individuals with the resulting blood spray.

Alan's in the ER after attempting a Transylvanian Firehose.

by Aohaku July 20, 2016