Metal Gear Awkward

The stealth and evasion game played to avoid detection by an ex, boring acquaintance, or other unsavory character.

Why can't that girl who asked me out find someplace new to study? I was playing Metal Gear Awkward the whole time I was in the library.

by mndz October 27, 2008

Awkward Hand Job

When a male convinces a male or female friend to give him a hand job. It is an emotionless act, and is purely a mechanical action. The friend is guilted into performing the act, usually being unenthusiastic and employing sloppy technique. As neither party is interested, the receiver usually finds it difficult to maintain an erection, and climax is rarely achieved.

Neither party benefits from this transaction, and it is usually considered the low point of any friendship. This uncomfortable incident usually leads to a brief hiatus in the friendship while both parties come to terms with their awkward feelings of guilt/shame.

An awkward hand job may be used a form of currency or bartering system for minor favors or small amounts of money.

Used in conversation as "AHJ".

Example (Awkward Hand Job):

Person 1: I can pay you back that money I owe you next friday!

Person 2: It's fine, just give me an AHJ and we'll call it quits.

Person 1: ... fine... :-/

by kevseany August 4, 2012

Awkward Lantern

Someone who transcends awkwardness in social situations, and even can control it and use it to their own advantage. An Awkward Lantern is somebody who can talk to anybody, and redirect any awkwardness in a conversation unto the other parties, by refusing to acknowledge it. Named after the superhero Green Lantern, because whereas a Green Lantern has control over the color green, an Awkward Lantern has control over awkwardness. Although they are rare, awkward lanterns are usually very adaptable and quick-thinking individuals. A true one can be dangerous if not a friend, because they have allies in the most unexpected places.

"I can't believe he got invited to that party!"
"Of course he did. He's an Awkward Lantern."

by mrblonde267 September 6, 2007

awkward transference

When you're watching a movie and actors start to sing. You feel so embarrassed for them and your eyes start to tear.

"Dude, why is Sigourney Weaver singing 'Back in the U.S.S.R.?' I'm feeling such awkward transference right now."

by lewibrysh April 11, 2009

awkward as fuck

When a moment becomes overly embarrassing, discomforting or inconvenient for all involved in the moment, except for the person being awkward, as they are unaware of their loserness qualities.

When this moment occurs, in particular in Perth at Uni Games, you are entitled to say the phrase "Awkward. As. Fuck. " You are also allowed to abbreviate this to AAF, so the perpetrator does not know you are referring to them as the person being Awkward as fuck.

Walking into your hotel room and your roommate is lying there naked with a hand towel over his groinal area. "Zac, WTF are you doing! Umm.... awkward as fuck"

by phildo22 November 1, 2010

p'awkward

(adj) A conjunction of the descriptive words "pudgy" and "awkward," coined by comedian Mike Birbiglia. He came up with this after someone who attended one of his shows said they enjoyed it, but that he was "pudgy and awkward."

"This is why I'm pudgy, this is why I'm awkward. This is why, this is why, this is why I'm p'awkward." -Mike Birbiglia

by SloopJB April 10, 2008

awkward mel

use two hands and lift them about temple high and move them foward and backward mildly from temple to ear

melissa instructs a guy to lift something off the scanner and instead signals a plane to land. this is then known as the awkward mel

by angelo aka kid fresh May 15, 2008