Is what my friend Charles got after 15 shots of wild turkey in 2 hours. Puking is usually consistent for upwards of 6 hours, accompanied by shirtless grunting and dry heaves. Following that is a period of delusional, semi-coherent bouts of swearing, and culminating with an attempt to crawl into my bed. which was denied. Recommendations are to not drink 15 shots of wild turkey, ever. Especially the day before your first server training shift at Olive Garden.
by hey. there. shittyshittyfagfag January 21, 2009
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by dagreatest February 5, 2009
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Someone who can maintain an orderly, outward social appearance while their personal life has devolved into complete chaos due to over-drinking. Their friends and family are often impressed with their achievements, while the alcoholic knows that their drinking has lead to a full-blown loss of control and that it is just a matter of time until their behavior blows up in their face. In a bad way.
Emelio's friends/family: " Emelio is about to graduate med school. We are so proud. We only wish we could accomplish as much".
Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.
Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.
by ???s upon ???s September 1, 2016
Get the Functional alcoholic mug.St. Patrick's Day, Halloween, Mardi Gras. Those days that seem to, at least for college students, exist solely for the purpose of getting shit-faced drunk, with rituals often beginning as early as morning and continuing throughout the day.
Bob: Dude! I'm so drunk right now. We started drinking every time we see spongebob squarepants, and they are running a Halloween Marathon.
Ted: Happy Alcoholidays!
Ted: Happy Alcoholidays!
by Matthew Lake November 20, 2007
Get the alcoholidays mug."Man alcohol is like liquid panty remover, you see that hot drunk chick over there, she's gonna get boned tonight."
by Miss Mandi June 11, 2006
Get the alcohol mug.by Teo Cherub July 15, 2009
Get the alcoholic mug.A fetus who's parent is an alcoholic and will most likely be born with problems and become and alcoholic.
by alcoholicfetus July 14, 2009
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