Cellar Boxing

When you open a short position on a company and make the company hemorrhage from within with a consulting group and short the stock to oblivion plus set the value of the asset down with high frequency trading and dark pool abuse.

You never close the position to save money on taxes and label it Securties not yet purchased and hope nobody catches on.

If a hedgefund or say, market maker, is looking to make serious returns. They would resort to creating a narrative to not be UNCERTAIN in their position.

The grift.
1. Open a short position on a publicly traded company.
2. Insert your parasites from say a sort of Consulting Group, Boston is a good place to look.
3. Have your parasites harvest the host company and make it hemorrhage from within.
4. Watch as the financials turn to ruin quarter over quarter and your short position grow larger and larger over time.
5. Never close out your short in say, Sears or Blockbuster, after using this very strategy to save money in taxes as you Cellar boxing the company with high frequency trading algorithms and dark pool order routing.
6. Use your short position that you never closed as collateral to continue the scheme rolling onto other companies. (SECURITIES NOT YET PURCHASED) lol
7. Hope to high heaven no activists investors get pissed off with the obvious grift and lack of enforcement since you buy off regulating bodies, or overshadow them.
8. Pay media and talking heads to push your narrative and grift gaslighting the populous and claiming conspiracy if anyone dares protest your seat at the helm.
9. Age like a gallon of Mayo in the hot sun due to stress and... Buy one more day until eventually...
10. Whoops 🦧

by theblackadder March 2, 2023

hollywood cellar

coolest store ever. has cool phantom of the opera stuff

phantom of the opera stuff gerard buter is sexy

by Sandy March 20, 2005

San Jose Cell Phone

A sexual act in which a man inserts his fist into the Anus of another Man or Woman, and begins to ring a bell in time with the pumping of his fist. A Bell can be substituted for a cheesy 80's beat played on a Boombox.

"The misses and I were feeling frisky last night, so I gave her a San Jose Cell Phone with that one Devo song."

by Neckbeard Jones July 21, 2009

Splinter Cell'd

The art of excusing ones self from intense sexual intercourse in lue of the need to urinate thus exiting the slightly dimmed area and imitating the traits of a well trained assassin by stealthly shadow stepping your way back in leaving the victim clueless and sniping a semen streamed shot onto the most exposed and vulnerable side of the face giving you enough time to exit the premise before the guards are alerted. Extra points for the ears.

Ivan - "Jeremy, I'm sorry man. I had to splinter cell'd your mom last night in order to make a quick escape."

Jeremy - "It's all good, as long as your safe broseafus."

Ben - "Well I'm glad to see someone made it out :\..."

by Rolemodel05 October 8, 2010

splinter cell

1. A miserably failed attempt at copying Metal Gear Solid.

2. A game with horribly bad AI due to the fact that people dont notice Sam and his giant billboard forehead.

Man they released another stealth game but it was a total splinter cell.

by Jebbedo May 4, 2009

cell gum

People who always stick with there cellular phones.

cell gum: cell=cellular with gum. People, who are very much talkative always get stuck with there cell phones.

by vibhasha Sharma December 9, 2008

Celleption

"Cell Phone Reception" or "Cell Reception" rolls off the tongue quite easily when shortened.

I'll have to call you back; bad celleption here.

by fino4u April 17, 2008