satan's handrail

The process of reviving a hand job using icy hot as lube.

Lucy gave John a fucking Satan's Handrail last Monday.

by HurtRussLE9300 November 12, 2015

Quicken Loans Cattle Handle

When you pay a discount rate for a dry handjob while on a business trip to a rural area. The Quicken Loans Cattle Handle usually occurs in the backseat of a crew cab Chevy 2x4, while the handjobist's father is trying to buy dip in the Love's Gas Station. If timed improperly the Quicken Loans Cattle Handle can have disastrous results, including STI's, Blueballs or a Napoleon Complex.

Man I had to go to Oklahoma on a work trip, The wife made me promise not to do any cheating so all I did was get a couple Quicken Loans Cattle Handles to clear my head.

I got a Quicken Loans Cattle Handle yesterday, but her dad got out of the shell before I could finish.

by Kort's favorite Buttboy April 23, 2018

man-handler

Someone who cannot resist the urge handle the male sexual organs.

Get you hands out of my pants, you man-handler.

by Chris Dixon September 20, 2003

Pussy handle

The handle in most cars that you hold if your old or a total pussy.

I don't have any pussy handles in my car so people are forced to be scared shitless by my driving.

by Jeff K October 10, 2002

left-handed football bat

Someone or something rather odd or f'd up you might say. A person who ate a few too many retard sandwiches.

My drill instructor was sure a left-handed football bat.

by Jebus January 27, 2005

Two-Handed Zamboni

Verb. A sex position where the female goes into a bridge position while the male enters her vaginally in a standing position. He may have to bend his knees slightly to achieve this and should support her lower back with both his hands

The name was first introduced on the sitcom How I Met Your Mother.

They did the two-handed zamboni last night

by sex canada May 17, 2009

oh shit handle

the handle that is attached to the interior of most cars above the window of the passenger seat. when riding with a dumbass driver, or haulin' ass through or around rush hour traffic, the oh shit handle becomes very convenient for whoever's riding shotgun.

oh shit handles should be used with a little caution, as one's hands could become one with the oh shit handle, and as unfortunate and unlikely as it seems you must first have your dick welded to a rock to have it removed.

by Black Button September 30, 2008