Schrodinger's Fap

An allegory for a terrible porn addiction.
At any given point you are either fapping or not fapping, like your the cat and fapping is the poison.

Paul: "Dude, I can't stop thinking about titties, it feels like at any time im liable to breakdown and masterbate"
Patrick: "well it sounds like your going thru a case of Schrodinger's Fap"

by Founder of Shrodinger's Fap April 29, 2022

Fap Snap

An animated, ephemeral version of a dick pick, often shared through the popular Snapchat social platform.

"Hey, I think you're very attractive, here's a fap snap!"

by Monsieur S March 17, 2016

The fap-bastard

"The lonely suburban" to masterbate while pooping or just sitting on the toilet.

Dude I ate some bad food yesterday so I had plenty of time on the toilet for the fap-bastard

by Johnny coxvile August 20, 2017

spite-fap

Fapping to someone you find morally reprehensible, like Adolph Hitler fapping to Sarah Silverman.

I only watch Fox News to spite-fap to Megyn Kelly.

by Walter Duckface September 12, 2015

Acoustic Fap

When there's a power outage, but you printed out a bunch of nudes that you keep in a binder under your desk.

See also: Jerk-off unplugged

During Hurricane Sandy, I had a number of acoustic faps.

by Maxil April 4, 2017

Cyber Fap

The act of fapping while chatting via web cam

Dude : Yo bro did you cyber fap with my girl last night?

Bro: Yeah dude, I cyber fapped with her all night.

by Joe mother May 10, 2015

Fap Bastard

A person who was unintentionally conceived through masturbatory semen.

Fuck off Mike. Your mother sat on a pile of cum on a toilet seat at a barn party back in '92 which consequently produced you. You're just a filthy fap bastard.

by JamieB123 November 1, 2014