Nothing in one hand and shit in the other

Neither of your two options are good. But one is just plain out shitty.

Jimmy: Unemployed David has a job offer for only $5hr.
Billy: Well he’s got nothing in one hand and shit in the other.

by Juice delhagen April 29, 2022

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And with your ears, you do nothing

Implies that someone is a moron, not reading the room/situation, or is just plain not listening.

Worker 1: Rinses Tupperware of salmon and broccoli remnants into sink with sign that says “Out of Order, Do Not Use”
Worker 2: And with your ears, you do nothing.

by F.Puff February 14, 2024

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Smile, nothing matters

A statement you must tell yourself whenever you think about something that elicits any sort of feeling. This is a reminder that all of this living is whatever we want it to be.

Gbemisola: "What seems to be the problem?"
Erika: "I think people may not like me as much as I'd like them too."
Gbemisola: "Well, I am not one of them. Regardless, smile, nothing matters."
Erika: "You're right. This is all a joke anyway."

by von groovy June 20, 2024

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