jared vanvleet

A true fuck boy. Normally has a very big head, and a very petite penis. Not to be mistaken for "Jared" Jared VanVleet is a complete douchebag. Also very bad in bed.

You cheated on me, quit being a Jared VanVleet.

by Dictionarywebster June 23, 2016

jared

jared, a fuckboy who plays with girls feelings. he uses you for sex and will not care if you are hurting. he says that you’re his only one but check his phone sis!!!

jared only texts me at night trying to get freaky!

by iknow_youre_reading_this_jared May 9, 2020

Jared

The largest douche bag on the planet. Has both mommy and daddy issues. Fails to comprehend even the most simplistic sentences and ideas. When he speaks everyone who hears it is instantly made dumber. He fails in school, in life, and in every other way possible. He is more unattractive than a $20 dollar a night motel bathroom. He thinks that the world is flat and that science is something you drink. His clothing choices have all the charm of a Klan rally. Jared likes his mom... a little too much. Jared is descended from a long line of complete morons, and he lives up to the standard his ancestors set.

Jared is the douche bag that married dated his mother.

by JimBobCooter1969 February 6, 2019

Jared

A fat Costa Rican bastard who got a shitty ass haircut and hates a lovely boy named Bryan. Nigga Jared thinks he’s rich ($14 an hour makes fat niggas go crazy) he lies about everything except that he has so many hoes. Nigga thinks he’s a thug cause he live in a shitty ass apartment. The biggest city boy s(as in fat asf but he still a city boy) got pepperoni nipples, SpongeBob acne and is a big fan of chaka culture and claims the chaka set. And he is thankful for god given opportunity’s Jared is a good homie and faithful vato and

Margret: Jared is fine ask
Hannah: I’d let him nut inside of me
Margret:…
The hoes: I’d like Jared to fill my holes

by Chester2fine March 10, 2023

Jared

This person will make you feel the lightest you’ve ever felt ever! Like a skinny skinny feather. Jared’s are unapologetic and charming with a fantastical sense of humor. He cherishes his friends and treats them like absolute guido/guidette royalty! Obsessed with gorillas and getting sticky and shaking ass.

Jared can simply whip the piss.

by Definedinmylanguage February 2, 2022

Jared

A man who will go till the end for his cheese he loves himself and most men do not love themselves like jared leaving jareds lonesome and depressed

Did y'all see jared today I forgot to hand him his paycheck

by Katlynjennerhater69er November 24, 2021

Jarely

Jarely is the most amazing person you will meet. They’re kind and sweet and will legit move mountains for you. They tend to not get the love they deserve so make show you show them their much needed appreciation

Jarely: *exists*
Everyone Else: wow 😯

Her overly protective and possessive bestie: FUCK YALL LOOKKNG AT

by You.Already.know.who.it. Is September 4, 2022