academic wanker

An individual complicating matters just to jack off that they know terminology/ books/academic papers.
Academic wanker: "I am looking to affect my footprint negatively from this application."

Non-wanker: "you're going to use the app less?"
by Yippewhooptywoo November 30, 2022
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Wanker at the wheel

A guy in a (usually) small car, who drives on free ways wanking (Masturbating) while he's driving
British guy 1: "Look at that cheeky bastard fappin while ees drivin"

British guy 2: oh man ee's a wanker at the wheel, and ees watchin poan too!"
by Crown Victoria November 13, 2020
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White Wanker

It's a pun derived from White Walker (the game of thrones); Used towards white people, not necessarily derogatory
by Cokeface March 14, 2021
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dweeb-wanker

An individual whose grandma like stamina projects (albeit unintentionally) a distracted and disinterested air that is interpreted by many as aloofness or conceited disapproval. This is a misconception however, as in contrast to your conventional wanker's feigned apathy a true dweeb-wanker will be genuinely fatigued from a hard days wholesome activities such as weaving or picking out a new pair of 'jim-jams' to match their favourite fluffy sheets.
It was only as Lindsey arrived at a gig at what others saw as 'fashionably late' because he had to finish sewing on his latest scout merit badges that he considered maybe he really was a dweeb-wanker.
by ninjabuster June 04, 2011
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wanker in a bag

A comeback for when you have no other comebacks. Freaking hilarious reactions in a fight.
by #gotsnolife April 25, 2017
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stanky wanker

When your British relative grows a tail and enjoys not flushing the damn commode.
My chap went to download the brown load and left me a stanky wanker on purpose!!
by May 28, 2023
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Wanker syrup

Ejaculate after rubbing one out, but for your pancakes. See also cumcakes. (Old Meeshiganees)
Hey ma you got any wanker syrup for muh pancakes.
by TheManagement October 18, 2020
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