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panic parkour

1) a phrase describing the adrenaline-fueled parkour champion-like moves no one, including you, ever knew you had, in an emergency situation. For instance:

Picture, if you will, an indoor play structure at a nursery school/day care. I'd wondered before how the grown ups were supposed to get in there if there was ever a kid inside that needed help. Then one day, one of the tiny tots bit another one real good, right inside the play structure.
I moved so fast that before I knew it I was inside the stupid thing with a screaming toddler in my arms, and no clear recollection of how I'd gotten there. I have a vague recollection of backing into it, somehow. The other toddler looked me dead in the eye and told me, very confidentially, "I bite."
YES, I THINK WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT

2) possible reference to "Panic Parkour", a set of hott trax laid down by Urban Action, Dubstep & Chill
I don't like extreme sports or cross fit. However, show me a kid or animal in danger and my panic parkour moves will inspire awe.
by lotusoftheheart July 22, 2018
mugGet the panic parkourmug.

Panic Dogging

What every dogger did the night before lockdown, panicking they won't be able to do it for a while.
Where's Jim tonight? I thought he'd be here for pre-lockdown drinks?

Ah, he's out panic dogging so he can get as much in as possible before everyone is dogging online.
by Top Dogger April 23, 2020
mugGet the Panic Doggingmug.

Panic! At the Disco

When someone enters the disco with an AR-15
There was Panic! At the Disco when the shooter stepped in
by Frederick Yeo November 15, 2023
mugGet the Panic! At the Discomug.

Panic Settling

The concept that adult women with high relationship expectations (and usually daddy issues) quickly settle with a male partner often from a lower tier of dating brackets and/or lower pay grades. A phenomenon exacerbated by a stagnant economy, high inflation, and an inaccessible housing market, the Panic Settling Candidate will often lower her standards in order to open up opportunities like travel, home ownership, and any other milestones that can't be achieved alone.
"After years of unsuccessful dating and multiple attachment disorders, Sarah (Lawyer, 32) is panic settling with Phil, a low-level tech employee who is plateauing professionally and personally. Despite the lack of intellectual and even physical stimulation, Sarah is happy to finally be able to love post on Instagram and fly economy class to a cliché destination once a year."
by Don B. Cucumber September 2, 2024
mugGet the Panic Settlingmug.

Panic Hands

The movement performed by a nude male on chatroulette when he realizes you aren't a female and you haven't hit Next fast enough.
"Yo, Tony. This shit is hilarious. Asian dudes have the fastest panic hands."
by TheBestDayEverSpongebobReferen February 14, 2012
mugGet the Panic Handsmug.

Panic Buyers

People who’re so scared they buy everything they can find in Walmart. Typically, people seeing others panicking encourages them to panic and buy a ton of shit, too.
“Those panic buyers bought all the goddamn toilet paper
by Pink Lemons March 17, 2020
mugGet the Panic Buyersmug.

Panic Parlay

When your parlay gets absolutely destroyed off rip, so you fire up a second parlay, daring to bet on teams you didn't even know existed.
Bro, Cavs +3 first quarter fucked my parlay already, had to fire up a panic parlay of Kansas -7.5, Kansas K-State Over135, and Montana -2.5. I swear if the Grizzlies fuck me.
by okcbudlight February 25, 2019
mugGet the Panic Parlaymug.

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