The Cape

The most important prize in the game of basketball, awarded to the player in a particular game who nets the most Cape Points. Cape points reward manly achievements such as blocked shots and offensive rebounding, and punish weak, pussy-ass, cowardly tendencies like passing and shooting three pointers.

Cape Points Formula:
PTS + 5*OFF REB + 3*DEF REB + 10*BLK - 10*3PA - 3*3PM -3*AST
Bonus points are awarded for Flagrant Fouls (+15) and Ejections (+25).

Dwight Howard typically leads the league in Cape Points.

Mike: "Yo man, did Dwight Howard keep The Cape tonight?"

Paul: "No, man. He was passing way too much and only finished with 73 Cape Points. Chris Bosh really manned up. He had a bunch of offensive rebounds and he finished with 95 Cape Points. Bosh is the new Capeholder."

Mike: "Nice, who won the game?"

Paul: "Who the fuck cares?"

by Cape_101 March 9, 2010

red carpet

A females mensturating vagina. the carpet meaning the a females pubic hair. Red meaning the blood that occurs during menstration.

I was eating red carpet last night.

by Joe Iron November 12, 2005

Does the carpet match the drapes?

Is the pubic hair (carpet) of the person being addressed the same color as the hair on his or her head (the drapes)? Typically asked of redheads, reflecting curiosity whether the hair color is artificial/enhanced or curiosity about natural variability in the hair color.

One of the most tiresome questions we gingers get is "Does the carpet match the drapes?"

by otterberry September 30, 2011

carpe puswah

Meaning literally 'Seize the pussy' Possibly an anachronistic term having to do with the magistrates in Britain in the middle ages and the rampant alley cat problem. It has evolved into more mundane use.

Yeah Mike - headin' to the beach - you know "Carpe' Puswah"!!!

by GameJunkieJim June 10, 2004

Cum Cape

Noun; The unwashed bedding of someone who masturbates too much. The bedding can then be worn as a cape, but the person who wears it must first yell "Cum Cape"

Wow, Joey got really drunk last night. He tied his sheets around his neck like a cape and yelled "Cum Cape!"

by LolOnYourLol February 21, 2010

roll out the red carpet

to give someone a ceremonious welcome

They were ready to roll out the red carpet when they heard that a celeb was in thier city until they realized he was not the real McCoy.

by Light Joker November 1, 2005

carpet knees

What one gets when giving a blow job while kneeling on the carpet. The knees get dry/ashy and impressed with the carpet weave pattern. Not as serious as rug burns.

Rom: Hey what did you do for lunch today?

Gina: Just look - I hooked up with Dave and got a serious case of carpet knees!

by Kohlsong January 2, 2009