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masturbation tips

hey this is 4 girlz
i will giv u a gr8 thing to do rite now.....
MASTURBATION TIPS

1. Make sure you are in a warm place (e.g: underneath your duvet) and also you are in a place where no1 can see u or disturb u.

2. If you have a male partner, make sure he is available because he could be very handy....

- to start off, you have to stretch your legs open wide (like you are having a baby)

3. start by stripping your bottom half (trousers n pantz)

4. get sum thick saliva from your mouth n place it on ur clitoris and vaginal opening

5. press ur clitoris for 10 secondz or less

6. start breathing lyk ur out of breath (slowly, then get a bit faster)

7. while doing this, rub ur clitoris from left to right with ur right hand (slowly do this, then get faster)

8. as you feel like you are starting to feel pleasure, get your man to go under your legs and get him to rub his penis around your vaginal opening.

9. when you feel the immense rush of pleasure, get ur man to do it with you (hav sex)

!!...ENJOY...!!

TiP: BEFORE DOING THESE WHOLE INSTRUCTIONS, IT IS BEST TO HAVE AN INTENTION OF HAVING SEX.
by Alison Hawkins March 25, 2008
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Gelatinous Masturbation

When a fat man inserts his penis into a folded group of his own belly-fat, usually to achieve orgasm.

A.K.A. Gel-Mas
He's so sweaty and tired because he just performed some gelatinous masturbation.
by JohnnyExitWound July 31, 2011
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Masturbationist

Simply, one who masturbates. Often confused with the term "masturbator" which is completely absurd.
I masturbate, therefore I am a masturbationist.
by FouyA August 15, 2003
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Masturbation

the 5 finger knuckle shuffle, waxing the pud... and so on
Tom is the sea captain, He's also good at putting bait on the hook... making him the masturbater
by the austinator April 4, 2003
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Masterbathing

When you're taking a bath, jacking off and then bathing in your own semen.
"Goddamn it David, your masterbathing clogged the drain again!"

"Yeah, Kirk seems like a smart guy, but he's just too busy masterbathing to actually teach us."

Masterbathing is more private and intimate than dunk-tank-wanking.
by Tha 69 Boize January 19, 2013
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PEROGIE MASTURBATION

using perogies to please one self
kristen's confession is that she does perogie masturbation
by racecarchick September 1, 2006
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Academic Masturbation

1. Any discussion with someone when they claim great theoretical or hypothetical; not practical, realistic, or directly useful knowledge designed to make themselves feel good, and to leave you feeling like a sticky mess.

2. Any discussion where claimed knowledge is discussed where the discussion is of great personal pleasure for the Academic Masturbator, but any others find it offensive and gross.
1. The public debate was railroaded by some bigot that just spewed hours of academic masturbation.

2. I hate having her in our study group since all she offers is academic masturbation.

THREE EXAMPLES OF ACADEMIC MASTURBATION:

Four Year Old Example: My daddy is better than your daddy because he's a fireman. Besides, you're a poopoo head.

Dungeon and Dragons Example: There is no way your 3 hit-die Orc could kill my level 3 Halfling thief! (four hour argument ensues)

Theology Example: The end is coming soon and God will kill you heathen scum that heretically believe that the earth is over 6,000 years old. Furthermore, I am NOT an animal!
by Steven G. Peterson October 20, 2008
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