Computer Weasel

A computer weasel (noun) - someone who lurks around the IC (or any university library) waiting to pounce onto any stray abandonned computer with all the skill and cunning of a weasel.

A - mate, I swear that guy behind me has been staring at me for the last 20 minutes. its really distracting.

B - he's a computer weasel, theres not much you can do. He'll get bored soon enough and hunt someone else.

by SUMHC syphilis January 17, 2011

Dell Computer

Black slabs that run at 2 frames per second, they like deep fried chicken and long walks along the beach.

Don't buy a Dell Computer there actually poo poo

by Not_Campron December 11, 2020

Computard

1. Some one who does not know how to do the simplest things on a computer, even if it's right there in front of them.

2. A computer that is really slow and crappy and never does what you want it to do... even if you're a computer expert.

1.

Goerge: Hey Jimmy, how do i turn it on?
Jimmy: The big button.
George: Uhh... What?!

Today, I tried to sign up for facebook. I filled out all the fields, but I couldn't find the sign-up button. I'm such a computard.

2.
Computer: There is a problem with the server. Application will close in 10 seconds.
Amanda: WTF?! Maybe I'll just reboot it.

Computer: *after being rebooted* Startup Failed. restart Computer Shut Down cancel

Today, I decided to use Patrick's computer. It took 10 minutes just to get in to the internet. Ugh. It's such a computard.

by lvvrgrl June 18, 2009

computer tech

a person who gets underpaid to fix simple user errors

Person A:"My computer is working."
Person B:"Call that computer tech"

by marc September 4, 2003

Computerus

A computer owned by a woman, and feminized until it is rendered useless to a man.

"Where's mom?"
"She's upstairs working on her computerus."

by Gribby May 23, 2008

computer ji

Hinglish for computer master. Used several times in "Slumdog Millionaire" by the gameshow host. Ji after a name is a Hindi term of respect.

A more flattering moniker than "hey IT guy"

Could you please show me how to archive my email, computer ji?

by Slumdog January 19, 2009

Crack Computer

An electronic device that was designed by the same folks who brought us crack cocaine. This highly addictive piece of equipment is capable of draining you of all productivity and turning your friends into zombies. Say NO to Crack Computer.

I have tried to kick my Crack Computer habit but I am hooked. I cannot do ANYTHING without it.

by El Dollar October 7, 2008