Medieval Capalot

Ancient Con-Man, a honest liar

Klause Mikaelson was a Medieval Capalot !

by pnikid691 September 13, 2020

Positively Medieval

Something that is so out of line, an old saying that is a pain to hear, or an outfit that hurts to see

“My goodness, did you see her hem? Six inches deep in mud. she looked positively medieval"- Caroline Bingley, Pride & Prejudice

by cherrycolaollipop January 20, 2024

Medieval times

A time when Europe was basically Africs minus the ebola and colonialism

The medieval times sucked man

by Kimmy Il May 2, 2022

Medieval Larry

noun; a metallic condom, preferably with metal shavings for jousting your partner

"Hey baby, the Medieval Larry may hurt"

by oMmieWithAExtraChromie March 19, 2022

Medieval instinct

Medieval instinct is when your parents try to get you to date a person they like the most themselves, for purposes that are either business related or just because they know that person best.

Mom: (friend) is so nice, you two get along so well! Are you sure there isn't anything more between you?

Kid: mom wtf

Friend: wha–

Friend2: looks like someone's medieval instinct just turned on–

by Kim_is_smart February 24, 2022

medieval fleshlight

A severed head in a birdhouse

:why is that birdhouse mounted on a post at waist level?

:ignore that, that's a medieval fleshlight

by anonymous September 1, 2021

medieval manlet

The medieval manlet (a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10, who suffers from the devastating disability of manletism) is a microscopically minuscule midget manlet who has been driven to madness by manletism and now exceedingly enjoys engaging in mortifying public live-action fantasy role-playing games with other deranged medieval manlets by first wrapping each other up in a tiny tinfoil armor and then charging towards one another atop of hamsters while wielding improvised toothpick lances in a decidedly diminutive mockery of a medieval jousting tournament, until one of the malignant manlet knights is struck and catapulted into the adjacent manlet pit, where he is then stoned to death with confiscated high heels by the laughing and jeering manmores in the bewildered crowd of towering onlookers. The triumphant little manlet princess is then declared queen for a day and is allowed to pick a pair of high heels out of the manlet pit to wear to his victory pizza dinner later at Chuck E. Cheese before then being introduced to his new role as a medieval manlet mantlet, which is a portable pint-sized, literally subhuman wall or shield used for absorbing projectiles in medieval warfare. He can also be mounted on a wheeled carriage by use of a fifteen-inch rectally inserted suction cup dildo to then partially protect one grown-up soldier.

Janet: Hey, why is my pet hamster coughing up tiny pieces of tinfoil again? Evelyn: No worries, he probably just ate another medieval manlet. That nanoscopic peewee runt of a pipsqueak manlet won't do your much larger hamster any harm.

by ManletDepreciator September 30, 2024