Tillamook County Lie Detector Test

A practice used by cruel, corrupt, and heavy-handed police officers to force a confession. From the song "Tillamook County Jail" by Todd Snider: "I've got a lump on my head and boot print on my chest/from what the guys in here call the Tillamook County Lie Detector Test/Well I did my best/but it's a tough test not to fail"

Tillamook County is in Oregon, of course.

1st Heavy-handed pig with huge, hairy, pussy-tickler mustache. "Found this hippy hitch-hiking on I-5."

2nd Heavy-handed pig, "Well, administer the Tillamook County Lie Detector Test, and we'll have him confess to vagrancy, illegal trespassing, resisting arrest, and armed robbery. And we'll check the files for any unsolved crimes we can have him confess to."

by Alfred E. Pnuemyn January 22, 2011

Idiot detector

A method or strategy of identifying easily manipulated or gullible people.

The Standing Rock Sioux DAPA solidarity check in served only as an idiot detector. As all 3 methods which it described would filter fake check ins by default.

by Novans November 1, 2016

detrifactor

Opposite of benefactor. Someone who, or something that actively makes your life worse.

"My supervisor is turning into a detrifactor. I have to bribe him to get shifts."

by sheramil October 8, 2017

Detectorise

The art of being a dectective. (Sarcastic)

Hey Mike, can you Detectorise this for me?

by The Ribs Detective August 19, 2018

digger detector

a person who can detect a gold digger

She thought she would play Bill for a fool, she didn't know he was seasoned digger detector.

by The Seeing Eye Dog May 6, 2011

BULLSHIT DETECTOR

Its name says it all. It detects bullshit and crap that piles from other people's mouths like verbal shite. They don't know your detecting their full of shite approach and i probably doubt they care. But hey oh. Your bullshit detector goes off the radar when you speak to certain people and you have that quizzical look on your face, a raised eye brow and your hand on your chin and they still talk shite at you.

Bullshit detectors are a must have. - get one today.

"Hey Dave my bullshit detector tells me your talkin a load of shit."

That guy talks a load of shit. My bullshit detector ran right of the spectrum soon as he opened his mouth.

by Moscow Man June 8, 2020

Rubbermaid™ brand lie-detector

That huge gray plastic barrel at the curbside in which you mindlessly threw out the nice gift that the child down the street worked so hard to create for you. Said innocently-trusting youngster then happens upon said container before the trash-man has carted it away, of course his tenderly-impressionable eyeballs observe said callously-discarded gift, which of course painfully marks him for life and shows him what a shameless lying a**h**e you actually are to have praisingly told him how much you appreciated his gift and all the work he'd gone through to create it for you.

Here's how to avoid having your Rubbermaid™ brand lie-detector make mincemeat of your stellar reputation with the neighborhood children. First, be sure to prominently-display anything they give you --- such as paper-artwork or a clay sculpture --- inside the front room of your house for at least two or three weeks, so that if the young creators of said "masterpieces" happen over to visit, they will always have their happy pride of your appreciation re-affirmed by seeing their "treasured gifts" still visible for all to see. Then after maybe a month or so, try moving the exhibits further along down the wall or into another room, so that if a child happens to notice the absence of his creation in its "customary" spot, you can just hastily show him that you have merely moved it, but that you do indeed still have it on display. Then, if the youngster doesn't comment any more on the object's absence during subsequent visits or go to the other spot to look at it, you can safely assume that he has lost interest in said object, and so you can then put it away in a desk drawer or someplace else hidden, but where you can still hastily retrieve it again if necessary. Then if there is still no reference to said object within a couple more weeks, THEN AND ONLY THEN can you probably safely discard the item, BUT ONLY IN A MANNER THAT DOES NOT RISK THE CHILD'S SEEING IT... don't just toss it "openly" into a trash can where it can easily be seen by anyone just moseying by!

by QuacksO November 25, 2018