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Swiss retard

1. A person with intense concentration but lacking in intelligence to grasp the problem / situation at hand.

2. Extremely annoying well meaning person who cannot infer, differentiate or recognize paradox. Generally caused by cultural isolation and in-breeding.

3. A person who oversimplifies a problem or situation in such a way thereby masking the problem at hand.

4. A extremely dumb person, who is surrounded by other extremely dumb persons and therefore can only view the world in a dump-consensus.
Michael cannot understand that people have different ways
of doing the same thing. He is such a swiss retard.

The man at the checkout was so irritating, he kept asking me the same question over and over with a sick psycho smile.
What a swiss retard!

The man driving gave extra gas when he saw people were crossing the street against the light, was a typical swiss retard.
by gbradssg hujwsmu January 1, 2012
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Swiss army wife

woman with lots of different feminine skills
Your swiss army wife sure can cook
by Semu April 5, 2004
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Related Words

Swiss Turtleneck

The act of a man's head being placed between two sets of large breasts so that the breasts form a "turtleneck" around the man's neck.
Brandon: "Dude, i got the two Emily's to give me a Swiss Turtleneck!"

Blake: "Nice!"
by Big Choctaw July 9, 2010
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Swiss Finger

The simple act of selection of the swiss, often used to select ones choice in shops. The swiss finger is simply extending ones index finger and arm and continuing to then shake the hand of extended index finger. Thus presenting the direction to ones attention.
A swiss man shows what sandwich he desires by swiss fingering it to show his selection.

man:oh she got me the wrong sandwich
swiss man: i always get what i want when i use the swiss finger! thank god im swiss!
by Swissbun November 26, 2011
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Swiss Army Knife

As long as you bring a Swiss Army Knife with you at all times, you'd need not fear of any man, creature, extra terrestrial being, or God himself. For as soon as you unsheathe your ultra-handy multi-tool, any stranger will instantly kneel down in respect for the man you are and beg you to spare them the shame of not owning such a holy grail of a tool. The men will deliberately force their penises to be as flaccid as humanly or inhumanly possible so your scrotum will be the largest in the next 10,000 miles, even if that means their genitalia must completely wipe itself from the nearest 80 universes. The women become so aroused they leave their significant others just to serve you and write shitty sexual Twilight Saga fanfiction using your name and image as a protagonist in hopes that you will open your eyes to them. But alas, you are so manly, so alpha, that even just the slight catch of your stare will put any unprepared woman into cardiac arrest. All the children in your field of view instantly walk away from their parents and force themselves as your child in hopes that they too will be able to be as righteous, masculine, intelligent, and awesome as you someday. The parents won't even bat an eye, because they know you will raise them to overcome this world of disappointing fast food and soy boys better than they could ever dream...

You aren't a true alpha male until you get one of these bad boys.
"You know, I originally bought this Swiss Army Knife to shave off my neckbeard a little, since katanas are too big for the job. I figured it would help me attract some e-Girls, but... I... I never thought- *snort* I never thought a (multi)blade like this would have so much power! I have all the women I could have ever asked for, an army of children wishing to be just like me, and men wishing they could spend just seconds with me, to just be in the presence, and have just a slight, minuscule grasp of being near to a true alpha. As soon as I showed mom this tool of mass-fortune, she instantly remarried dad, let me move back upstairs out of the basement after about 20 years, and gave me her and dad's life savings for vbucks. In fact, I'm so alpha, I was elected to be president of the U.S.A for the next 50 years by congress. Life is good." - Former neckbeard soy boy, now badass alpha male and officially announced best President of the U.S.A. to ever exist by every media outlet ever, all thanks to the power of a Swiss Army Knife.
by Sipow July 26, 2018
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swiss cheese

by moosedogg March 11, 2004
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Stossel

A style of mustache popularized by TV anchor John Stossel.
"That guy is wearing a Stossel."
"Yeah its coming in real thick."
by Xibalba October 22, 2008
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