Rectal Myopia

The most widely used excuse given for absence from school/work. One's inability to see one's ass coming in today.

Mr. Taylor, It's Chip. I'm afraid I won't be able to make it into the office today. I have rectal myopia.

by Chipwich74 December 9, 2012

Rectal Ventriloquism

A fancier way of saying fart.

Haley has this amazing talent. She has mastered the ability of rectal ventriloquism.

by AnselmoJr January 1, 2010

Rectal Spasm

When ecto gunk explodes from the rear.

"Dayum, I was just chillin, mindin mah own business, when all of a sudden I had a rectal spasm! That shiz is messy!"

by Squaddeh June 21, 2012

Rectal gulp

The unwelcomed surprise, splash-back anal entry of liquid produced by the forceful impact of well-formed stool with toilet bowl water.

I feel so unclean. Yesterday's burritos, poor planning, a gas-station restroom and a rectal gulp. Next time, I'll just shit in the parking lot.

by YAWA August 8, 2018

rectal rocket

Hamburgers from White Castle. Also known as "sliders".

I ran to the shitter and blew major ass all over because of the rectal rockets from an hour earlier.

by Scud September 12, 2003

rectal blockage

n. A rectal blockage is a large mass of dry, hard stool that can develop in the rectum due to chronic constipation. This mass may be so hard that it cannot come out of the body. Watery stool from higher in the bowel may move around the mass and leak out, causing soiling or diarrhea.

I had a rectal blockage for a week and finally had to seek professional help to have it removed. No more cheese for me!

by Resedo August 12, 2009

Rectal Thinker

A complete dumbass with no common sense. No level of learning instruction or education will improve the intelligence of a rectal thinker.

My boss is a rectal thinker.

by Eaton Holgoode March 9, 2017