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medieval spraytan

Covering ones body with human feces and letting them dry up to create the illusion of being more tanned then one actualy is.
"You sure look dark m'lord" "Thank you kind sir. I just got myselve a medieval spraytan"
by Yellos April 9, 2018
mugGet the medieval spraytanmug.

medieval purse

A term for using the hollow between your breasts to carry money and small objects. Renaissance Fair and Octoberfest costumes often lack pockets and you got to put your car keys and cash somewhere. A bra, corset or corset-like vest is required to make this work.

I'd like to say this is a female only phenomenon, but we both know it isn't always. See moobs
The part I think he enjoyed most about the Renaissance Fair was watching the serving wench pulls bills out of her medieval purse and make change.
by Bryonia June 5, 2010
mugGet the medieval pursemug.

Medieval instinct

Medieval instinct is when your parents try to get you to date a person they like the most themselves, for purposes that are either business related or just because they know that person best.
Mom: (friend) is so nice, you two get along so well! Are you sure there isn't anything more between you?

Kid: mom wtf

Friend: wha–

Friend2: looks like someone's medieval instinct just turned on
by Kim_is_smart February 24, 2022
mugGet the Medieval instinctmug.

Medieval Larry

noun; a metallic condom, preferably with metal shavings for jousting your partner
"Hey baby, the Medieval Larry may hurt"
by oMmieWithAExtraChromie March 19, 2022
mugGet the Medieval Larrymug.

medieval manlet

The medieval manlet (a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10, who suffers from the devastating disability of manletism) is a microscopically minuscule midget manlet who has been driven to madness by manletism and now exceedingly enjoys engaging in mortifying public live-action fantasy role-playing games with other deranged medieval manlets by first wrapping each other up in a tiny tinfoil armor and then charging towards one another atop of hamsters while wielding improvised toothpick lances in a decidedly diminutive mockery of a medieval jousting tournament, until one of the malignant manlet knights is struck and catapulted into the adjacent manlet pit, where he is then stoned to death with confiscated high heels by the laughing and jeering manmores in the bewildered crowd of towering onlookers. The triumphant little manlet princess is then declared queen for a day and is allowed to pick a pair of high heels out of the manlet pit to wear to his victory pizza dinner later at Chuck E. Cheese before then being introduced to his new role as a medieval manlet mantlet, which is a portable pint-sized, literally subhuman wall or shield used for absorbing projectiles in medieval warfare. He can also be mounted on a wheeled carriage by use of a fifteen-inch rectally inserted suction cup dildo to then partially protect one grown-up soldier.
Janet: Hey, why is my pet hamster coughing up tiny pieces of tinfoil again? Evelyn: No worries, he probably just ate another medieval manlet. That nanoscopic peewee runt of a pipsqueak manlet won't do your much larger hamster any harm.
by ManletDepreciator September 30, 2024
mugGet the medieval manletmug.

Medieval Torture

If I DO have a brain worm then this is some kind of...
Hym "Medieval Torture! A very public Medieval Torture INSTEAD OF A TRIAL. Sounds like AOC. That's the voice I'm hearing. So... That's what you'll get if she's in change. I mean, I'm over here bringing forth AI Utopia (for a nominal fee) and stopping school shootings. And they are doing a Medieval Torture because they thought I wouldn't have any support. Be careful what you say online your politicians might Medieval Torture you to death! OoOoOoOo! Spooky. I'm sooooooooooo terrified. Heheheh..."
by Hym Iam June 16, 2025
mugGet the Medieval Torturemug.

Medieval times

A time when Europe was basically Africs minus the ebola and colonialism
by Kimmy Il May 2, 2022
mugGet the Medieval timesmug.

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