Diversion

A program created by the government to help "troubled teens" who find themselves in a position to getting a charge against them. to keep them "out of the court" the kids are accepted into a diversion program. Through the whole thing, the government, the teens and the parents waste a whole lot of time and whole of tax dollars, ameliorating absolutely nothing. When getting a ticket would have been a better option in the first place.

Teen #1: Dude, did you hear? That girl told us for denting mailboxes?
Teen #2: Oh, dont worry dude, we just got diversion.
Teen#1: OHHH NOOO!

Teen #3: Duuuude, im just gonna go to court, like a smart kid.

by WithaK123 January 12, 2011

Distance Distortion Factor (DDF)

The mathematical equation/proof that girls are exponentially hotter, the farther away they are from you.

Wowwwwwwwwww, look at that shorty up there, she be lookin' good!

Naww, man, dats just the Distance Distortion Factor (DDF).

by A Bathing Ape August 16, 2008

Portion Distortion

The act of making a meal much larger than it should be; hence, you get fat on three meals a day.

Guy 1: Holy shit, how large is that lasagna you're eating? That's enough for at least two people!

Guy 2: So what?

Guy 1: It's portion distortion!

by P R Me June 28, 2010

deportion

When you choose to abort a baby and it gets launched across the border

This baby is read for deportion

by donkeypunchcrackhead September 30, 2018

Money Distortion Field

The effects of an amount of money so large that it warps and distorts legal, political, and social systems that get near it. This is analogous to a black hole's gravity well that can force light which normally travels in straight lines to travel in a path that looks curved.

"That Madoff guy generated such a large money distortion field with his Ponzi scheme that he'll never go to jail!"

by Dr. Dave da Brewmeister February 2, 2009

distortionist

A word used to describe that someone is broken inside or mistreated.

I met a distortionist person.

by Randomassguy9001 September 17, 2017

Divorceonality

When someone's personality completely changes during/after a divorce, either for better or for worse. Usually, this is a good way to determine who you want to be around.

"Hey man, how's the home life?"

"Good, for the most part, but my mother's divorceonality isn't very fun to be around."

by Stale Turnips August 21, 2022