Chronicles magazine

The magazine of American Culture and also the best magazine in print. Ticks off the left, the right, the corporate, and the power elite. Published in Rockford Illinois otherwise known as the worst city in the United States. Annual meetings take place under the name of The John Randolph Club.

Everybody who wants to know the news six months ahead of time ought to read Chronicles magazine.

by England phi beta gamma March 30, 2008

Jory Caron

The very handsome, funny, & quick witted host of the following shows:

"Is It A Good Idea To Microwave This"

"Jory Caron Opens Mail and Shit"

"GTFO My Deck"

Loves to laugh, pretty much at everything Zachary Little says (and seriously you can't blame him).

Loves chocolate, but not white chocolate, that shit is nasty.

Is not a fan of Licorice.

Loves getting Candy in the mail. Especially candy he's never tried.

Lives in Portsmouth, New Hampshire.

Makes videos on You Tube to appease his huge fan base.

Jory Caron is one sexy mother fucker!

I wish Jory Caron would respond to my tweet but he has over 9400 follows.

Jessica:OMFG Angel!! Jory Caron Friended me on FaceBook!!
Angel: OMG OMG OMG! you're SO LUCKY it sucks the FaceBook cap is 5000! Im so jealous!!

I love it when Jory Caron throws something in the microwave and then high tails it behind the tin foil shield.

by janetlc69 January 1, 2012

Bluntman and Chronic

The two main characters of the comic book written by Banky Edwards and Holden McNeil in Chasing Amy.

Also see Jay and Silent Bob

Bluntman and Chronic are based off of Jay and Silent Bob.

by tenaciousd6936 August 5, 2006

chronicled

The most extreme state of getting pwned; getting extremely owned usually by a pwner.

"dude i just got hit in the face... i got chronicled!"

by BobbyV April 1, 2008

chroniclogical

The way and rate at which time passes while under the influence of Marijuana.

After pounding a few beers and smoking a bowl of some fine kush, Johnny found himself feeling as if hours had passed, only to look down at his phone and see only 5 minutes had gone by. Time was passing by so chroniclogically from his perspective.

by DJSciurus September 23, 2009

chronic benchitis

When a member of an athletic team sits on the bench for so long that he develops an injury.

The other day I played a basketball video game and following the game I was immediately notified that Steve Novak was injured with back spasms. The problem was he was in street clothes and listed as inactive in the game he was supposedly injured in. He is one of the worst rated players on the game, and with the "injury", his ratings dipped further. He may never see the court again after this. Therefore, he really suffers from chronic benchitis.

by crazylegsdave January 13, 2010

Chronic noosing syndrome

Chronic noosing syndrome

Chronic noosing syndrome (CNS) is characterised by an individual’s urge to noose one’s poose at the slightest inconvenience.

Howard: “Jen my jarred pig eyes aren’t in the fridge”

Jen: “Yeh Howard, the council took them away in biohazard suits, you’ve got to stop eating that shit”

Howard: “Fine have we got any bilge rat soup left in the bathtub”

Jen: “No Howard, that shits back in the sewer where it belongs..”

Howard: “Well noose my posse. I think my chronic noosing syndrome is kicking in...”

*choking nosies*

by Count Noosula March 26, 2020