coitus

Sex. The physical act of love.

Maude: "Do you like it?"
Dude: "I was talking about my rug"
Maude: "You're not interested in sex?"
Dude: "You mean coitus?"

by SaneSoul December 28, 2005

Coatus Interruptus

When wearing a coat makes sex nigh on impossible therefore proving to be much a much more reliable and safe method of birth control than Coitus Interruptus or the withdrawl method.

"Last night Kelly and I were all over each other, but when we got in the house I couldn't get my damn coat off!"

"Haha, you wear that thing so tight you look like a dog's lipstick."

"Not funny bro! She couldn't reach the goods, it was total Coatus Interruptus!"

"Well, better to be safe than sorry."

by Disco duck March 18, 2014

Coitus ditch

A big fucking hole.

I'm gonna need a cartographer to map this coitus ditch.

by Wet spaghetti May 24, 2022

explosive balloon coitus

When a unicorn and giraffe spend the night.

If your looking for context here you should probably stop. (Explosive balloon coitus)

by TheWorstPartyIdeasEver March 4, 2023

Oral Coitus

The act of mouth sex.

Man, last night I was about to have myself some coitus, but then she started giving me Oral Coitus with her fucking mouth.

by Bromosexual22 November 19, 2009

aborting coitus

An exlamatory phrase used by the male individual prior to sex after surreptitiously sniffing his fingers which have swabbed the vagina of his potential mate.

Benjamin pushed his index finger deeply into the prostitute's vagina, and while she wasn't looking, sniffed it. It smelled like rotten fish and old cheese, so he screamed 'ABORTING COITUS' and ran from the room.

by CosmicBuffalo December 14, 2015

Coitus Coach

An alternative to 'fuckbuddy'. Two people who share purely physical relations.

Danny : Have you heard about Joe?! He's dating Alice!
Adie : Nah man. He's just her coitus coach.

by Gdog. August 28, 2009