Church

A word used to describe smoking weed usually in the presence of an adult.
Bob: Did you go to church yesterday?
Sally: Yeah, at Fred's house.
by Cheesecakexox December 19, 2010
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church

1) A Place where Persons of a particular Religion, Usualy Christian, Gather to Worship their Particular Religon/Affliction/Cult/whatever

2)A Character In the Popular Web Series "Red Vs Blue" made by Rooster Teeth Productions.
Full name: Private Lenard L. Church
He is Characterised by His Aqua Colored Armor.
"Hi! I'm Private L. L. Church, of The popular Web Series, Red Vs Blue." - Church
by Churba December 09, 2004
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church

The place my mom makes me go to even though I am 14 and feel strongly about my own beliefs. And to make matters worse, the damn place is located at my school! Thanks, mom you've earned your award for Professsional Life Ruiner.
No mom I do not want to go to church
by DizzyLizzy November 22, 2006
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church

A place where crazy, stupid people go to listen to some old child molester talk about myths found in a fiction book called the bible.
Wow, your weird. You actually go to church?
by yourmom666- December 22, 2011
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Church

1. A group of people that claim to be Christians when in reality they aren't.
2. A group of people that gossip about each other behind their backs.
1. "yes I'm a Christian and go to church all the time. I also cheat on my wife with the piano player."
2. "did you hear that our pastor is having an affair?"
"OMG! Really?!"
by Betrayed by you January 09, 2010
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churching

To attempt the crab position whilst maintaining an erection, completely naked. The limbs become the walls, the body the ceiling and the thoroughly erect penis, becomes the steeple.
'I like to thoroughly stretch out my pelvic muscles with a good morning churching.'
by Charon92 February 13, 2017
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Church

The best pyramid scheme of all time. The whole idea started about 4000 years ago when some religious hustlers found out how profitable human stupidity can really be. Since then, this long-con has only gotten larger. It continues to survive by indoctrinating it's members in as children, and brainwashing them into ignorant submission. After completely destroying their common sense, the members are ordered to recruit more people. They're encouraged to invite friends, family, coworkers, and even strangers to come join up. Knock on doors, put up signs, hold rallies, whatever it takes to get more followers. They seduce these unknowing individuals by promising them everlasting life, good fortune, spiritual healing, divine truth, and much much more. By methods of guilt-tripping, coercion, and verbal sleight of hand, they convince these newbies to forfeit 10% of their salary. But don't think the church is done there. Far from it. Clergymen also have the right to be tax exempt, have a say in politics, assfuck your kids, receive free housing, and receive thousands from charities and donations.
The Johnson family goes to church because they're a pack of ignorant sheeple.
by Moosifer821 December 28, 2020
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