Patrick Briggs

(n) this is the situation when a guy walks in on another guy petting his tiger, spamming the ham, corning the beef, shucking the corn, wipping the cork, choking the chicken, spankin the monkey, polishing the samurai sword, TAMING THE DRAGON aka...beating off or masturbating and thoroughly enjoying it by acting like "a deer in headlights" by staring at his erect penis for like 20 seconds.

In late October, a man named Jacob Itch was spamming the ham in his Ohio State dorm and accidently left his key in the door. Then, Pete Brugger opened the door pulled a "Patrick Briggs." That was the last day we talked to Pete

by Sean Gill January 8, 2012

Briggsy's Diversity Policy

Belief held by an individual belonging to several dozen minority groups that he should be treated as a superior being. Otherwise known as "a chip on each shoulder and three on the hunchback".

If I want to take the piss out of that ugly, disabled, blind, black lesbian with two fannies and three arseholes then I will.

Yeah, who gives a fuck about Briggsy's Diversity Policy?

by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 22, 2006

Briggsy spanking

A variety of spanking indulged in by arty types. The spankee coats his arse with oil paints of many colours and bends over a sculpture of Shakespeare. The spanker then larrups the spankees paint-smeared buttocks with a palette or rolled-up canvas. The gleeful yelpings of the spankees are often recorded and sold in art shops as "Sounds to inspire you".

That fellow with the easel has quite a limp. Aubrey.

Yes. I think you'll find he's been the spankee in some Briggsy spanking.

by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006

nux and briggs

The legendary words that will echo for millions of years

Nux and briggs a thousand years, a thousand years nux and briggs

by kingdoug-sama August 6, 2020

Briggsy Prize

An art prize for artists too obscure and ludicrous for even the Turner Prize. Entrants for the Briggsy Prize have included a lamb chop stuffed inside a small child's mitten, the word "talent" written on an Etch-a-sketch and a Christmas card torn in half next to a copy of the Scunthorpe Yellow Pages.

Art critic: What piece are you currently working on?

Artist: I've got a polystyrene box which I've painted purple and filled with baked apples. It represents the pain and despair of missing a phone call when you're in the shower.

Art critic: Should make the shortlist for the Briggsy Prize.

by Colin Cummerbund December 14, 2006

Briggsy Fishing

A new sport in gay arty circles. A group of at least 6 arty benders eat a violently hot curry and then spend an hour together in the hot tub, shitting their guts out. When the hour is up they all get out and stand on the edge of the tub with fishing nets seeing who can net the most excrement. The winner gets to eat the contents of every net whilst being gang-buggered by the losers.

Are you making another violently hot curry, Quentin?

Oh indeed Humphrey, I feel a night of Briggsy Fishing coming on.

by Eddie's Thick Gristle August 2, 2009

Briggs the Ripper

Notorious serial killer who pimped out and then murdered art students whilst at university in the 1970s. He did this out of an act of resentment for other art students, humiliating them by pimping them out, murdering them and then using their blood and body parts on canvas to create his own art - snuff art. Only part of this unique art collection has been recovered, the rest is said to have been sold on to privates collectors. He is currently housed in Brixton prison where he has become orally involved with the black community and is now awaiting extradition to the Sistine Chapel for crimes against art where, if found guilty, he will be set in concrete and become a gargoyle.

Have you heard about Briggs the Ripper? they say he was over 7ft, but I've seen him and he couldn't scratch a rat's back

by Rubber Sheath September 19, 2008