Why do you hate me, mom? You had me in your fucking stomach for nine goddamn months, and you think that you're gonna name me after some dumb bitch grandpa that died 12 years before I was born? The fuck is wrong with you? I was made fun of for years because you named me fucking HUMPHREY!!!

FUCK YOU!! I WAS TORTURED THROUGHOUT SCHOOL BUT I NEVER TOLD YOU CAUSE YOU WOULD'VE LOOKED AT ME AND TOLD ME TO GO SUCK MY OWN DICK CAUSE THAT IS JUST WHO YOU ARE, YOU FAT FUCK!

NO WONDER DAD LEFT YOU WHEN I WAS 3!

FUCK YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR!

B I T C H
Nurse: "aww, hes beautful! What are you gonna name him?"
Woman(chainsmoking and drinking a martini): "Ahaeopwiowefgf3y....... humphrey hehehehe what a dumbass name lol"
A large typically hairy man with a smaller peen large nose and giant eyes
Oh look it's Humphrey
by Juice master69420 November 1, 2022
Humphrey, as in Bogart, is another term for someone who is holding onto a joint, pipe, bong, or any other means of smoking marijuana while others are waiting to take a hit.
"Come on Humphrey...pass it then you can keep talking."
by Jenn Regan June 23, 2006
A unique and versatile word to describe male genitals, suspicious packages from Big Sausage Pizza, and cockerels.
Uh-oh! My humphrey is hard again.”
“Wtf? I’m a guy. I have a humphrey.”
“I’ve got a jolly good humphrey down there.”
by sodium!! December 13, 2019
You heard the myth right..HE IS THE MAN. THE LEGEND ... Just dont take the pith..
by Jessicaadele March 2, 2018
The guy from almost famous on hobowars that tells everyone the meaning of their name in the urban dictionary

Everyone loves him though, we want his children

Humphrey -
1. stigs
A fat, lazy, Puerto Rican teacher/cop/lacrosse coach. Known to be a complete retard and sleeps with his mother

how does this make you feel about your name, this is from urban dictionary?


Humphery -
sue: a sexy lady with huge titties that loves to have sex all the time, nice fat ass, and likes to do it in her jacuzzi tub

wierd, it says nothing about kissing for a bathroom break
by Sonicsue July 11, 2008
Humphrey is used to describe any unusual birth mark or freckle on sum1's face. It cant be sum1 with lots of freckles. Its just ONE freckle or birth mark on the face that catches ur attention and is really ugly. There is also a trisex humphrey which is wen sum1 has 3 humphreys that make a triangle on the side of their face.
Wow that humphrey on SB's face is mad anoying. I just want to chop that shit off.
by bobby apple November 29, 2005