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Who the fuck actually names their kid Humphrey. That nigga can't be real.
Dad: Why the fuck did i call you Humphrey
Son: I cant get no pussy with a name like this wtf
by nothumphrey September 12, 2018
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Humphrey, as in Bogart, is another term for someone who is holding onto a joint, pipe, bong, or any other means of smoking marijuana while others are waiting to take a hit.
"Come on Humphrey...pass it then you can keep talking."
by Jenn Regan June 22, 2006
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Someone who is just a complete and utter soppy bastard and does regular Facebook updates explaining how shit their life is, often saying FML.
that new boy jack just sits In the corner listening to depressive music with his head on his knees.... What a Humphrey.
by youuglybastard June 21, 2011
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a whore
a person who humps for free
a person who goes out w/ ppl, and makes love to them after their first date
a blond bitch
a bj giveaway
"look at humphrey go"
"that fuckin humphrey just screwed him after 3 days"
" i wanna fuck that humphrey"
by anal rape March 11, 2008
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A loving, confident, kind, handsome, smart and patience soul whose capacity for love is endless.

If you are lucky enough to find a Humphrey- he is a keeper- he gives amazing head scratches, loves a good massage, is a chess master, acts like a cat at times and enjoys looking at and having beautiful things.

He is a good friend and a great lover- he strives for perfection in every aspect of his life but is patience and kind to his girlfriend - he has a special smile that only she will ever get to see.

All in all- Humphrey is the perfect boyfriend.
I need to find a Humphrey!

Wow what a Humphrey!

Damn....that’s Humphrey... my amazing boyfriend.
by Yelenatran96 September 08, 2018
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The guy from almost famous on hobowars that tells everyone the meaning of their name in the urban dictionary

Everyone loves him though, we want his children

Humphrey -
1. stigs
A fat, lazy, Puerto Rican teacher/cop/lacrosse coach. Known to be a complete retard and sleeps with his mother

how does this make you feel about your name, this is from urban dictionary?

Humphery -
sue: a sexy lady with huge titties that loves to have sex all the time, nice fat ass, and likes to do it in her jacuzzi tub

wierd, it says nothing about kissing for a bathroom break
by Sonicsue July 10, 2008
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