magic turd

a turd that is so clean that you don't have to wipe. Also known as a 'get up and go'.

'Dude i just had the most lovely magic turd'
'i thought you were quick'
'yeah i love it when there's no paperwork'

by thatowenz May 2, 2006

Turd Honking for the Right of Way

When you need to take a crap and you let out a fart that smells exactly like crap.

ooh. That one smells, it's a turd honking for the right of way.

by Don December 1, 2003

turd waddle

The act of waddling - with pants down around the ankles - from one public bathroom stall to the next in search of paper with which to clean the poo from ones unwiped poopchute. This movement is typically used when a tiny piece of turd neglected to dislodge itself from said rusty balloon knot and their is little more than one square of shit ticket left in said stall and the person that has performed the shit wants not to incur a skid mark on their undergarments.

Ahmed is such a dipshit, he should know by now that the county is fiscally challenged and made a cognisant decision to forego toilet paper in all county schools, oh well I guess I will have inform Mrs Parrymore that he will be late to class again due to his 2 hour turd waddle

by cornfritter October 22, 2010

you can't polish a turd

to try to "fix up" an ugly car, or to try to turn a compact rice burner into a race car.

i told that guy trying to pimp a cavi, "you can't polish a turd"

by da trick biatch December 28, 2005

turd bird

A simultaneously sincere and childish term of affection.

"Get going, turd bird."

by pass the mic. April 16, 2004

bird turd

Bird Shit, bird poop, bird doo

Although birds are pretty, one should never put out bird seed or bird food because that simply creates bird turds

by andy1 June 5, 2005

turd burp

Noun - A fart. To expell gas from one's anus.

Your wife's turd burps are fuckin' nasty!

by Howard Alan S. October 5, 2006