Tri-bag

(noun): contraction of two entities: “Triathlon” and “douche-bag”. A tri-bag is a human being, male or female, who defines their existence based on the next triathlon or training for a triathlon they will undertake. Tri-bags typically struggle maintaining relationships with other human beings unless they are tri-baggers as well. Hence tri-bags tend to hang out together and compare notes on their “strokes”, “breathing”, and which model of Subaru they will purchase next. Tri-bags are usually fairly easy to spot and identify. Sometimes they are confused with “cross-bags”, their cross-fit counterparts.

Some signs of a tri-bag:

1) Within the first 3 sentences of a conversation they mention that they have or will participate in a triathlon.
2) Ironman logo is prominently tattooed on their one of their calves (it doesn't have to be on the calf but this seems to be the preferred location – look here first)
3) They drive a Subaru (this is probably a 20% chance of being a tri-bag)
4) They drive a Subaru with a “26.2” sticker in the rear window (~74% chance now)
5) They drive a Subaru with a bike racks and a “70.3” or a “140.6” (99% chance – only reason this is not 100% chance is that the person driving the car could be the disgruntled spouse or emotionally neglected teenage child using vehicle).
6) They drive any other vehicle with “70.3” or a “140.6” (>90% chance)

7) Their bicycle cost more than the GDP of Ireland.

I went to John’s party last night. I couldn’t find a place to park; Subarus were ubiquitous in the surrounding area. Once I got inside, it was full of tri-bags taking baby-sips of craft beer and comparing “strokes.”

or
I really wanted to take up swimming but I could got too annoyed with all the tri-bags at the pool so I became a cross-bag instead.

by tgrbld April 5, 2015

kamikaze bag

It's an eight ball mixed with half cocaine and half crushed meth

Bro, wtf is up with Jimmy's mouth? Why is it sideways? Bruh...he's been doing line after line out of his kamikaze bag! He's on a suicide mission!

by Loso_007 July 23, 2015

Wet Bagging

The act of breast feeding yourself

I walked in on Emily FURIOUSLY wet bagging herself.

by Charles_w September 5, 2015

bag of hangers

a girl thats so thin her bones are pushing through her skin like a plastic bag stuffed with hangers.

i knew kim was skinny but seeing her naked was like looking at a bag of hangers.

by all for nothing April 18, 2008

Bagged an Elephant

Discovering, mid-sexual encounter with a seemingly hot babe you picked up, that she's got a little more (sausage) tweenst the legs than you bargained for. However , you are past the point of no return and finish the job and nut purely for your own prurient interest.

Rogers itenerary to Thailand did not list "sex with a lady boy" however after a stop at the right bar at the wrong time, he bagged an elephant.

by Eaton Holgoode January 12, 2017

Bag and shag

A phrase usually meaning a person that has an atractive body but not face so you'd shag them but only with a bag over their head.

Have you seen Hattie, she's a bag and shag. Not so sure about her face but her body is hot. Put a bag over her head and I'd hit it anyday.

by overnunthousand October 14, 2010

bag of fuck

bag of fuck one who is a shitbag and a fucking piece of shit much more vulgar and offensive than calling someone a shitbag when calling someone a shitbag is not enough or just want do

my neighbor got pissed off and almost ran my cat over what a stupid bag of fuck

by littlejimmie May 29, 2019