off the porch late

When someone is always getting a joke late or last person to realize that something is going on or has just happened.

When you tell a joke to a group of people and even though the person was sitting right there with you, they ask "wait what's so funny, tell me". You should say, man you are always off the porch late!

by broadstreetbully April 9, 2011

porch monkey

Lawn jockeys that were used to tie up horses are porch monkeys. Since back in the old days, plantation owners had Black people stable the horses or tie them up. Hence, most of these lawn jockey's face were painted black.

Your mama looks like an Alabama porch monkey!

by Kenneth Brown September 1, 2005

front porch

When a person is giving a blow job and the blow job recipient stretches his scrotum under his or her chin, creating a front porch.

I totally gave sally a front porch last night.

by Breal916 June 6, 2011

porch monkey hooker

A hooker, ho, or whore who once you get her into the room asks you if she could just watch you do yourself. Usually characterized by her falling asleep during the middle of it. You often feel ripped off after she leaves.

Porch monkey refers to being lazy and the hooker can be of any color.

"How was your birthday present we sent you last night Bill?"
"Terrible you bought me a Porch Monkey Hooker"
"Shit I'm sorry man"

by Haskill August 16, 2008

Porch Monkey

Folks who enjoy drinking and socializing with others on their porch, often spending many hours doing this.

That house is filled with a bunch of partying porch monkeys.

by SnottyIrishman August 28, 2005

perched

When fucking a woman against the wall, one removes ones hand and the woman perches on the dick.

She was perched on my dick for a good 10 minutes!

You should have seen the bird perching on my dick last night.

I like it when she wiggles while she perches on my dick.

by Sam Kaci December 2, 2007

Perched

When a gay man catfishes another gay man

Scott was perched by a guy named Brad

by AlterJoker November 14, 2017