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da bible

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All that has to be said about an event, person, statement!

Powerful for good or for bad
Ohh! this hang over is 'da bible' (apocalyptic)

That physics professor is 'da bible' (tough)

Dude! my Birthday party was 'da Bible' (divine)

This homework is 'da Bible' (eternal)
by AlliP January 11, 2009
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Pocket sized bible carried by stoners that is used primarily for the small, thin sheets of paper in it as paper for joint rolling. Most stoner bibles are missing the blank pages from the back of the book and any low ink pages from elsewhere.
Yea, I was wondering why Dave had a bible in his room, then he told me it was a stoner's bible.

John and Tyler were out of papers, luckily they had a stoner's bible.
by Dave Elkins January 5, 2009
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Ghetto Bible

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It is Generally the instruction manual for a DVD player, because people in the "ghetto" cannot afford and/or comprehend the REAL bible, and so, worship a DVD player instruction manual.
rich guy: hey im reading the bible and learning of jesus...because i can afford to ;)

Ghetto guy: i am reading a DVD player instruction manual (ghetto Bible) , because i am from the ghetto, which has developed its own church overtime and we have learned to worship DVD players.

HAIL SONY
by tyejfnsjtnr November 2, 2009
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The bible

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A religious text. Whether or not it’s fictional or non fictional is... up to you.

Lots of people like to throw it up at others in an attempt to ground their own bigoted beliefs, usually flipping to one page and then claiming it as evidence of something when really, it’s just a bunch of words made for a religion. Can you try not to, I don’t know, not attempt to weaponize religion? Who knows what you’ll get up to after cyberbullying children for liking the same gender.

Of course, not every Christian is like this, and assuming they all are is only stooping down to the worst ones’ levels. Assume the best out of everyone and you may just teach someone a valuable lesson ^^
Religious asshole: the Holy Lord God has said that passing your own body to others for sex is a sin and you’re going to go to hell; Asexuality is a sin because you cannot have any children according to Jesus; gayness is illegal according to some random quote from some random guy; all of this is in the Bible therefore I am correct

Decent person with common sense, religious or not religious: The Bible is a book, not a wikia. Jesus was asexual. His best friend was a prostitute. The whole “man shall not lay with boy” is, in fact, against pedophilia, and not against homosexuality. Of course, since you’re a “devout Christian”, you likely already knew this, right? Considering you probably read through the whole thing and all. I hope you have, otherwise who knows? You might wake up tomorrow morning with the room a little hotter than it was the night before.
by Some Friendly Gay Loser January 3, 2021
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The Bible

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The funniest comedy of the millennium, due to the ridiculous actions, thought processes, and mindsets and beliefs held by the main character, God, and the absurdist nature of the events that happen throughout the story.
Person 1: Did you read the Bible today?
Person 2: *recalls Exodus 4:24-26 and other funny verses*

Also Person 2: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Person 2 Yet Again: Yeah, it was hilarious.
Person 1: Funniest thing I've ever read.
by Alex Zer0 March 10, 2021
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Coom Bible

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An meme/good atheist alternative to the actual bible. It's just a list of meme definitions.
Man 1: I believe in the Coom Bible, amen.
Man 2: Yeah I read the Coom Bible every night.
by Sapphic Tree Dick April 18, 2021
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Pocket Bible

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North Carolina slang for penis, often used by politicians.
"Oh Stephen, I feel passion and desire and would like to feel you pocket bible in my hands"
by johnnyjr May 1, 2022
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