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Lolipop Paradox

The theory that there is only one cquirrel (pronounced squirrel) in the universe that exists as an omnipotent and omnipresent being. The Cquirel is an evolved human that has has come back from the year distant 1420 so there is only one and a paradox is created every time he is seen next to himself in any field of vision.
#AUB
Jek: oh look a squirrel next to himself this must be the lolipop Paradox...henlo friend!
by Kane_Nekono May 27, 2018
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red Batman Paradox

The moment in ones life when one meets a degenerate that likes to groom little girls and hates anime
person 1: hey i just met this degenerate, he likes grooming little girls and hates anime.

person 2: yikes, sounds like the red Batman Paradox to me.
by le bruh moment April 19, 2021
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self-help paradox

The age-old conundrum of "people who seek self-improvement vs. people who need self-improvement" --- generally speaking, the people who are conscientious and unashamedly self-examining enough to actively seek ways to improve themselves do not really need to self-improve very much, whereas the people who truly do need to improve themselves will not admit that they even HAVE a self-inadequacy problem, and so they arrogantly/impatiently refuse to seek or accept help in improving their character or behavior (think, the infamous "getters gettin' got" conversation between Madea and Dr. Phil).
Client, to counsellor, at the outset of their weekly meeting: Breaker one-five for reality check --- come on back?
Counsellor, playing along: Yeah, go ahead, Breaker --- reading you wall-to-wall and treetop-tall.
Client: Thanks --- that's a big ten-four, good buddy. Well, I'm in the process of trying to improve myself, and so I thought I'd send a random shout-out over the waves to check my progress. I've been trying to be more sociable and patient and helpful to everyone, visualize things more from their perspective, and so on.
Counsellor: Well, eights and other good numbers to you on THAT one, good buddy --- that's certainly a positive start. Have you tried self-help books?
Client: Oh, a great BIG ten-four THERE, good buddy --- I've read at least a half-dozen of 'em cover-to-cover, and loved every page; the problem, though, is that I never seem to find any new ideas --- most everything in there is stuff I already know about and am actively practicing, so the books just reassuringly confirm the nature and wisdom of my efforts, not provide fresh perspectives for further improvement.
Counsellor: Ah... well, ten-four, good buddy --- I totally "get you" there... the old "self-help paradox", eh?? The only people who'll read those books are ones who don't need 'em!
by QuacksO February 3, 2017
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deserter paradox

a repeating loop where you get an idea, talk about it with friends, abandon the project, and then start a new idea
A: I'm gonna make a game!
(5 years later)
B: Hey what about that game you were talking about before?
A: Oh, I abandoned it 30 seconds after getting the idea.
B: You dirty slut, try not to follow the rules of the deserter paradox next time.
by BingoIsaac April 7, 2023
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The Lizzo Paradox

When a woman says that Lizzo is gorgeous, stunning, and beautiful. However, she gets highly offended whenever she is told that she looks like Lizzo.
Person 1: What do you think of Lizzo?

Woman: She is so beautiful!

Person 1: You actually look like Lizzo.

Woman: Ewww! How dare you!

(That's the Lizzo Paradox for ya)
by Oblong Schlong January 16, 2024
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Bari Mahir Paradox

A romantic and totally illogical-yet-cute theory that states: "If a boyfriend does something wrong, it's his girlfriend's fault because he belongs to her, and all his actions are influenced by her presence in his life."
Rano: "Why did you forget our date night?"

Mahir: "Because of the Bari Mahir Paradox. I'm yours, so technically... you forgot it through me."

Rano: rolls eyes but secretly loves
by Porous oblivion April 22, 2025
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The Elevator Paradox

So this is a way to confuse everyone around you in an elevator when you walk in.
When you walk in an elevator, you do not turn around to face the door and continute to stare at the back of the Elevator.
To achieve maximum confusion, you walk out facing the same way untill the people in the elevator can no longer see you.
Me: *walks into an elevator, doesn't turn to look at the door*
Guy 1: Whats he doing, why is it making me unnerved.
Guy 2: Careful! He's creating The Elevator Paradox, just let him be and he'll go away... uncomfortably..
by EU Terrorist November 5, 2019
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