Jared

A drunken simp with a tiny dick who doesnt take no for an answer. he gets no bitches, but he has nice hair. the kinda dude who will send you some lil peep at 3 am cuz hes simping over the fact that you dont want him

ohoh Jared is fucked up and about to ruin everyone's night again

by anonymous April 3, 2022

Jared

Stupid idiot that contradicts everything he says

Person 1: Hey did you call me d*ckhead yesterday?
Jared: No, I only called you a d*ckhead
Person: NIBBA THAT'S WHAT I JUST SAID

by MinecraftIsSuperior January 22, 2020

Jared

A fucking adopted cunt who thinks hes the shit. Beat his ass god damn it

Jared:I'm cool
The boys: Shut up jared your fucking adopted!

by Diabetic surgeon October 15, 2019

jared zoot

An absolute scary monster of a zoot that only the biggest of zoot smokers can smoke

That's a Jared zoot bro, lemme have some tokes I wanna get Bruce lee'd

by Yea mate August 30, 2017

Jared

Queer/Homo/Tranny/Fag/Gender Fluid
Usually on some old dirt back road getting sucked off by a dude named T-Jizzle.

Careful around that guy, hes a jared, might try to suck you off

by anonymous April 17, 2023

Jared

Used as an expression similar to saying "f you" or "f off".
Works best when you stick your hand up in the other person's face while calling them Jared.
A name used to deflect an individual that is: obnoxious, rude, selfish, ill-mannered, arrogant, stuck-up, full of themselves, bully, uneducated, taddle-tale, cocky, coward, immature.
Similar to a Karen

Someone who acts tough but cries like a bitch when it comes down to fighting or dealing with a situation.
Someone who talks a lot of shit.

Sticking hand in someone's face and saying

" K Jared!"
"Calm down Jared!"
"Shut the fuck up Jared!"
"Man, Ben's being a real Jared these days "
"You've been such a Jared since you started dating that chick man."

by Elysiium 92 April 21, 2021

Jared Laing

Jared is a tall man who hit puberty at a young age. He has a huge d**k and the ladies can always see his bulge.

"Look at him you can see it his name must be Jared Laing"

by Jackasswhohatesyouall December 8, 2016