Smuggling hams

When a girl with perfect buttcheeks wears leggings or tights, making it seem like she’s smuggling two hams in her pants.

Christina got searched during her layover in Saudi Arabia because security suspected she was smuggling hams, but it was just her dump truck cheeks from squatting, doing clam shells and using the stair master 98 percent of her time in the gym.

by Tony Uncle Johnny February 20, 2021

ham fountain

Sit backwards on a woman's face while you jerk off on her tits.

She was blown away when I showed her my amazing ham fountain!

by anonymous June 12, 2016

Glass Ham

Pressing your ass cheeks against a steamy, glass shower door.

I was lied in the bathroom to piss and my uncle was showering and gave me the glass ham.

by Dick Onchin November 3, 2020

Ham Crack

The asshole. The booty. The bunghole.

I slipped a digit in her ham crack last night while hitting it doggie. She shot off the bed like one of Kim Jong-un’s rockets. Won’t go try and poke her there again without warning.

by Eaton Holgoode October 23, 2018

ham night

It's that thing where you throw a party, but you live in America - so all your guests are overweight and your air conditioning isn't keeping up as everyone is basted in their own juices.

Things really turned for the worst when someone brought up politics at our Ham Night.

by DarkDiggler June 3, 2020

Glazing the Ham

When you are at a relatives house for Thanksgiving and you have to sneak in a jerk-off session. It is a delicate situation and requires the skill of a true perv.

At Thanksgiving dinner this year I got caught glazing the ham by my grandmother.

by Urban douche November 30, 2010

The Ham is on the Table!

1. A metaphorical statement implying a complete loss of tolerance for a given situation.

2. A statement confirming the beginning or end of any course of action regarding a given situation. (i.e. "It's on now" or "The shit has hit the fan"

I'm tired of that fool talkin all that shit about me...The ham is on the table!

by Noeliam83 October 4, 2009