Exit Wank

An extremely reckless danger-wank whereby the performer has little or no hope of remaining undetected. Such a brazen act is brought about the liberation of knowing one is leaving and doesn't have to face the consequences of their actions.

Bazza: "Did you hear Dennis from accounts finally flipped the bird to his boss and resigned?"

Gazza: "Yeah, then Wayne caught him polishing his piece all over Cathy from finance's desk while she was at the post-budget sausage roll party".

Bazza: "An exit wank? Are you kidding me, what a way to go out!"

by Johnny Long-bone January 25, 2012

Monster Wank

When men form a circle around one chicken and all masterbate until they all blow their load on her.

And she will be standing there dripping in semen. Classy

"Molly you're in my £70 dress"
"Good, I'll get the lads at the party to monster wank on it"

by Eleanor Hubbard August 3, 2014

posh wank

To masturbate whilst wearing a condom. Hence, to posh to clean up after yourself!

He was having a posh wank.

by Flaps March 4, 2003

Guilt wank

The feeling of guilt when you have finished masturbating over an ugly person.
Also applying to masturbation over ugly pornographic material (e.g. fat woman).

When you are feeling seriously horny and you think it is acceptable to choose a random person to masturbate over. Either whilst looking at one of their photographs or texting/ chatting to them online. Only to realize shortly after you've exploded that they are fuck ugly, and you've just made the biggest mistake of your life. You have fallen victim to a 'guilt wank'.

by tommy13 April 9, 2011

wank fodder

Someone very attractive, that implies they are masturbated over.

That chick is some SERIOUS wank fodder.

by Barney Boo February 5, 2005

Facebook wank

When you log on to facebook, the first girl you see that has updated their status, you open up a picture of her and have a wank.

"I had a facebook wank last night!"
"What's that?"
"I logged on, saw Sarah at the top of list opened up a picture of her and had a wank!"
"Sounds good!"

by Jimmy Peters December 24, 2008

Wank Biscuit

Wank Biscuit is a game played by a group of 3 or over males! It involves all males participating to masturbate until they ejaculate onto a biscuit or cookie of thier choice preferably a digestive! All males must ejaculate onto the biscuit! The loser is the last male to ejaculate onto the now high protine snack! As a forfiet the loser must eat the biscuit!

BOB: who wants to play wank Biscuit?
Dave: Erm......No!
Sam: Yeah!
Rick: Go on then!
Pete: Okay!
Bob: HA! Three against one Dave your Playin!
Dave: For fuck sake! I never win?
Bob: You love it you sick fuck!

by mike doom July 12, 2004