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John

While the name John may be common, and versatile as it is a preferred euphemism for some mundane and not so mundane things; the "cis gender" male John is anything but. There are many human male Johns on the planet, and while no two are the same, there does seem to be a preferred type. An extensive poll of attractive, loyal, kind, intelligent, hardworking and endearing woman, found that the most coveted of Johns seem to be this hybrid of dorky yet extremely masculine man. Let's just say hypothetically, that said John was out kayaking with a childhood crush, it would not be uncommon, for that crush to look over at him, and think " Oh my God, not only has this mid life crisis morphed him into Homer Simpson, but I am completely and utterly in love with that Duff drinking goofball".
As she tried to kayak herself out of the circle she kept paddling herself into, Beth was growing increasingly frustrated, wondering when she would finally get to consummate her relationship with John.
by A&Please me June 16, 2022
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the best thing in the world , a person who obliterates everything else in his terms of cuteness , intelligence , strength and intimidation . the unseen god of this world
"John hippe-wiggle-diggle-nose is godly , hes a damn treasure"
by Child Le Ultimate June 16, 2022
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"Dude , John hippe-wiggle-diggle-nose is literal god"
by Major Malard June 16, 2022
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John

Johns are an interesting breed and are quite versatile, with the name serving as various euphemisms. Phenotypically speaking, Johns can be quite varied, but the most coveted among ideal women is the John that has recently emerged from some sort of existential crisis. One will notice this highly prized type by his interesting mix of dorkinness and raw masculinity. When not kayaking or rescuing damsels in destress, you can find a John jetsetting around the country to fix things. He fixes things, big things, machines that are important to industries which in turn help make economies run.
After paddling herself in circles in the kayak, John told Beth that he would save her if she flipped over. It was in that moment, that she knew what the hype of catching a rare Pokémon felt like, for she had spotted the rarest of Johns.
by A&Please me June 17, 2022
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Johns Gravy

When you go to the John with a case of the wet shits and the toilet water looks like your Aunt Gina's gravy
Travis: Hey man, you said you stomach hurt earlier. Are you doing any better?
Mohsin: Yeah, I made a big pot of Johns Gravy before I left
by mushroom_on_jupiter June 19, 2022
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On John

On a man named John, Or more specifically John Oliver.
"I really like men with aids."

"On John Bro"
by MothersMilk69 June 19, 2022
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John no way home

Asian kid with a homeless outfit goofy ah movie and goofy person and a pervert sometimes
HAVE YOU SEEN JOHN NO WAY HOME ITS THE BEST OF THE BEST IT MADE MILLIONS
by Booty ticler June 20, 2022
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