Shirt stretcher

A fat fuck who constantly pulls their shirt away from their gunt to give the illusion of not being obese.

Jon keeps pulling his shirt away from his gut. What a shirt stretcher.

by m4gssssss August 6, 2017

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mound stretcher

A particularly long, thick, and hard penis commonly found on gentlemen north of Hadrian's wall.

Tell me Mrs. McTavish, you said that your new born son weighed 25 lbs at birth yet three weeks later, he now weighs only 15 lbs. what happened? "Oh, we had his mound stretcher circumsized your majesty".

by Baffersty March 7, 2018

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Fishy Stretch

It’s when you pretend to have a seizure on the floor.

Guy one:”Yo is he ok?”
Guy two:”yeah he’s fine he’s just doing a fishy stretch.”

by 420blaze it May 14, 2018

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soda-stretcher

A simple method of both saving money on "flavored fizzy" and quenching your thirst better on extra-hot days. What you do is save a two-or-three-liter plastic soda-bottle after you empty it, and then pour in half the soda from a freshly-opened bottle of da same size. Then fill both bottles the rest of the way with drinking-water . Now you'll have twice as much liquid libation for about the same price as just one bottle, plus it will seem wetter and more refreshing, and the drink's milder flavor will help you feel "filled up" more quickly.

Raising your children to not have an excessively "sweet tooth" is a good idea just "in and of itself", of course, but it also has great advantages whenever you employ the "soda-stretcher" technique on hot days, since your kids will already be accustomed to blander-tasting beverages by that time, and so they will probably not feel particularly dissatisfied with your "watered-down" concoction.

by QuacksO August 29, 2018

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