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You Absolute Soggy Flannel 

1: Used generally to call someone an idiot or a bit stupid

2: If you say "you have the personality of a soggy flannel" basically means youre dry asf and you need to have a bit more personality babes xox
1: Youre so bad at obbys, you absolute soggy flannel

2: I was talking to him last night and honest to god he was like a soggy flannel
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《¤》Absolutely 《¤》absolUutely 《¤》absolutelY《¤》

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《¤》Absolutely 《¤》absolUutely 《¤》absolutelY《¤》

An absolute fucking retard 

you

no yeah absolutely

An even stronger version of the Midwestern phrase "no yeah",
No yeah absolutely, I'll be there Saturday even if I have to do the evening chores.

The Relative/absolute fallacy 

Similar to Ken Wilber's "Pre/trans fallacy", which is about conflating pre-rational views with trans-rational views, the Relative/absolute fallacy is about conflating relative perspectives with The Absolute perspective. This is the main source of confusion in the forms of spirituality that deal with the implications of non-duality (Oneness).

There are generally two levels to the fallacy:

1. The first level is the conflation that happens when you don't have knowledge about the distinction between the relative and The Absolute (dual/non-dual). This is common in pre-rational religious people (Wilber). The way that traditional religion interprets various holy texts is itself a good example.

2. The second level happens when you do have knowledge about the distinction between relative and absolute (but it's obviously not complete knowledge). This is common in (aspiring) trans-rational people. A common example is to think that because nothing ultimately really matters, morality doesn't matter, and therefore it's fine to for example hurt other people. This is to conflate "the relative" with "The Absolute". From The Absolute perspective, yes, nothing really matters, but morality can only ever be defined "relative" to a certain value system in the first place. By taking the absolute perspective, you're deliberately stepping outside of all value systems, but "it's fine to hurt other people" would be a moral statement, which means you're actually invoking a relative perspective.
You're conflating relative perspectives with The Absolute perspective ("The Relative/Absolute Fallacy").

Albert thinks he is God and nobody else is. Albert has committed the Relative/Absolute Fallacy.

he was absolutely a fool for them to play with his dizzick 

he was absolutely a fool for them to play with his dizzick he was absolutely a fool for them to play with his dizzick
he was absolutely a fool for them to play with his dizzick

Bring the absolute fire 

When the vibrations from your phone cause your desk to catch alight. Typically when the Falcons hit 20+ booked in a single day.
Gosh darn, I can’t wait to bring the absolute fire today.