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Paddle Wanker 

A Paddle Wanker refers to a minority of people who cannot bend their fingers back, thus emulating the shape of a paddle. They are complete wankers, who contribute next to nothing to society. They attempt to destroy as many oars/paddles as they can find, in order to justify their existence.
1) Whats the new kid like?

he's really weird, he can't bend his fingers back!

He's such a Paddle Wanker!

2) OH NO, my oar has snapped in half and we are stuck in the ocean....

...If only we had a paddle wanker to propel us to shore
Paddle Wanker by VeTe January 8, 2012
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Vest Wanker 

Guys wearing vests that expose man cleavage and/or side nipple!
Did you see Brett with his man cleavage hanging out?

Yeah that guy is such a vest wanker.
Vest Wanker by Sazzlebazzle January 16, 2014

lycra wanker 

Those wankers on bikes who think they are Chris Hoy, but are in fact middle age accountants and are shit bike riders
Jon - look at that wanker on that bike
Robin - yes, what a lycra wanker....
lycra wanker by Mr Skint May 16, 2016

Wet Wanker 

The act of Jizzing in the ear, like a Wet Willy, but literally.
Guy one: Ah, dude. I just gave that guy a Wet Wanker!

Guy two: You mean a Wet Willy?

Guy one: Nah.
Wet Wanker by LootGoblinPenny December 12, 2016

tag wanker 

A person who adds a tag of a friends name into the comments section of a facebook news story, making it look as if there are more comments then there actually are.
What a funny story

DAVE SMITH

JANET WILLINGTON

BORIS JOHNSON

Oh do fuck off you bunch of tag wankers!
tag wanker by Nigel Garage January 12, 2017

Schoffel wanker 

A wearer of the schoffel, usually anything from a gillet to head to toe schoffel
Normally seen herded Into young farmer gatherings.
Olly looked a complete schoffel wanker today
Schoffel wanker by Dog botherer January 3, 2020

knob knocking wanker

is an individual who passes time finding places to have a jerk in. He can go anywhere, at the mall, in the movies, at your grandma's funeral, anywhere. these are mostly kids who have recently discovered how to beat it off , 30 year old men who are still living in their parent's basement, anyone has the potential to be a Knob Knocking Wanker
Harry: Can you believe this? Chris is hitting it off in the disabled bathroom again
Peter: He's such a knob knocking wanker