two handed turtle

when someone gives a guy a handjob with one hand and catches his shit with the other as its coming out of his ass.

David: Hey man! Little Red gave me a two handed turtle last night.

by muleymomma May 19, 2014

pancake hand hold

The pancake hand hold is the most conservative of the hand holds. Used most commonly in a parent-child relationship. Palms together, fingers are not interlaced.

A: Let's hold hands.
B: Okay but only a pancake hand hold otherwise people will think we're dating!

by smexy_hotdog82 March 5, 2022

dealing myself a hand of solitaire

A rather sophisticated term for masturbating.

My therapist asked me what I did to keep myself busy when I was bored, so I told him that I was always dealing myself a hand of solitaire on Sunday afternoons.

by El ritardo April 17, 2020

Sopping Hand Job

A person who is always drenched in semen when ejaculating with their right hand.

He looks like a sopping hand job because his pants and underwear are wet all of the time

by jondich January 20, 2021

one-handed tumble

Using one hand to scroll through pornography on Tumblr while using the other hand to manually stimulate the genitals.

The One-Handed Tumble is my favorite way to unwind before bedtime.

by TastyManBeef November 9, 2017

me-time hand

The hand used for masturbating.

You're getting a tattoo on your hand? Is that your me-time hand?

by Bill.yeg January 2, 2019

wandering hand

I went in the bed room to play "wandering hands" With Hanna, She would not stop getting wet.

I went in the bed room to play "wandering hands"

by DrunkenValor April 28, 2016