by ibelieveyourgalaxy February 17, 2019
Get the jesusmug. A short bald African-American guy that hides in the closet and watches me and my wife doing it. We like to pretend he's not there, but it's kinda hard 'cause you can hear him muttering stuff under his breath (while probably touching himself).
Wife- You wanna make love,
Husband- No, I think Jesus will be watching us.
W- Jesus is always watching us. He is everywhere. The Bible says so.
H- Not that Jesus, the one in our closet.
Husband- No, I think Jesus will be watching us.
W- Jesus is always watching us. He is everywhere. The Bible says so.
H- Not that Jesus, the one in our closet.
by J-to the Dizzle January 19, 2019
Get the jesusmug. some dude who might have lived a long time ago. he tried to spread peace but ignorant people decided the need to make him god so they don't have to come to terms with their own mortality.
by saintdisgustus November 25, 2007
Get the jesusmug. by behereyes December 18, 2008
Get the Jesus!mug. The legendary sexual act in which you need 4 girls to do. 1 is riding, 1 on your face, 1 hand is fingering a girl and the other hand is doing the same. Legs are in a straight out together and your arms are spread out so your body is in the formation of a cross. THE JESUS.
Dude last night was so wild, I did the Jesus on these girls.
Last night was legendary, I jesused these 4 girls.
Last night was legendary, I jesused these 4 girls.
by Keffery D October 31, 2013
Get the The Jesusmug. A sexual position in which the male stands behind the female, firmly holds her wrists, penetrates her from behind, and lifts her up, using the motion of his hips to pull out and push in. Two women can use a strap-on dildo to accomplish this.
Extreme caution should be exercised to avoid unwanted anal penetration.
Both heterosexual and homosexual couples can use this for anal sex if they have adequately prepared for the experience and applied sufficient lubrication.
This position has little use other than for novelty or comedy value and should not be sprung upon your partner without advance warning.
Extreme caution should be exercised to avoid unwanted anal penetration.
Both heterosexual and homosexual couples can use this for anal sex if they have adequately prepared for the experience and applied sufficient lubrication.
This position has little use other than for novelty or comedy value and should not be sprung upon your partner without advance warning.
Man: "Hey, want to try 'The Jesus' to spice up our sex life?"
Woman: "Sure, how does that go?"
Man: "Here, let me show you"
(Penetrates her, lifts here up, and begins humping with her feet several inches off the ground)
Woman: "Oh Jesus, I think you just dislocated both of my shoulders"
Woman: "Sure, how does that go?"
Man: "Here, let me show you"
(Penetrates her, lifts here up, and begins humping with her feet several inches off the ground)
Woman: "Oh Jesus, I think you just dislocated both of my shoulders"
by GWBBQ March 2, 2005
Get the Jesus, Themug. KK he's the awsomest koolest dude there was and IS. Died on the cross 4 everyone, to forgive ur sins - not that u can sin whenever u want. He loves evryone who has good in there heart.
If u don't u can still become a Christian by praying and asking 4 forgiveness and meaning it. And reading the Bible - it's ALL
true and it's Gods word to us. Seriously go 4 it, being a Christian is awsome and will change ur life 4 better. : )
If u don't u can still become a Christian by praying and asking 4 forgiveness and meaning it. And reading the Bible - it's ALL
true and it's Gods word to us. Seriously go 4 it, being a Christian is awsome and will change ur life 4 better. : )
by Jesus-is-dah-man September 19, 2006
Get the jesusmug.