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Hypochondriasis

The one and only disease a hypochondriac DOESN'T think they have.
Me: Ugh man I have a headache... I think I might have an aneurysm that's about to burst! Or maybe brain cancer!
Friend: All that is very unlikely, but what you do have is hypochondriasis.
Me: NO, I'M TELLING YOU, I HAVE ALL THE SYMPTOMS OF AN ANEURYSM, AND MOST OF THE SYMPTOMS OF BRAIN CANCER!!
by Lefty Power 123 May 21, 2021
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Hypochondriac

What an incompetent doctor calls their patients.
I can't figure out what condition my patient has, and I'm sick of hearing her whine about her "excruciating pain", so I will label her a hypochondriac.
by Haven the Great October 6, 2021
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hypochondriac hypochondriac

A person who obsesses over the types of hypochondriacs in paranoia of which one they are
My hot-nurse girlified- is hypochondriac hypochondriac. (N)
by xCozyx April 25, 2022
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Hypochondriac

Female, especially middle aged and no longer "hot", who complains of a disease that doctor-magic cannot diagnose and/or treat.
That bitchy old cow in my examining room keeps saying she has heart palpitations but I can't hear any. She's probably lonely and wants attention because her old man can't it up anymore. I guess I can't prescribe that nasty, fat middle-aged hypochondriac the little blue pill for her hubby, though. Her husband might have a heart attack at seeing her naked. My medical training didn't prepare me to deal with a hypochondriac like her. Referral for psychiatry.
by KeepItSweet November 17, 2022
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legal hypochondriac

n. An individual stricken with extreme litigiousness, usually due to a vicious combination of nosiness, paranoia, persecution complex, having too much time, and an innate and perhaps genetic inability to take responsibility for him or herself.
Much like a person for whom every sniffle is merely the first sign of impending death by swine flu, the legal hypochondriac believes that every one of life's minor inconveniences is not only someone else's fault, but someone else's legal liability. This necessitates calling at least three lawyers, writing letters, gathering boxes of evidence, filing multiple law suits, and then lodging complaints with the Law Society about the lawyers who refused to take the case on a contingency fee.

The legal hypochondriac can often be found on the black lists of every law firm within several hundred kilometres of his or her home.
by impartisan September 12, 2012
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hypochondria meniscus

something you can say to sound like a genius
by FlashlightMemelord February 1, 2018
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Hypochondria

A common symptom of anxiety, hypochondria is an odd condition characterized by being excessively paranoid about your health. People with hypochondria (hypochondriacs) often freak out when they exhibit symptoms that even slightly mimic a deadly (or potentially deadly) disease in any form, leading to a generally reduced quality of life.

Hypochondria should not be confused with thanatophobia, the fear of death, although they often coexist.
Despite the negative consequences it has, people with hypochondria often live longer because they usually adopt very healthy lifestyles to avoid falling ill and are much quicker to seek medical attention when something seems off. Though it often turns out to be nothing when they do, the saying goes that even a broken block is right twice a day.
by Ubeenbamboozledson March 25, 2024
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